


Seems Like Forever Ago

by unshurtugal



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drama, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-05-02
Packaged: 2017-12-07 15:33:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 37,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unshurtugal/pseuds/unshurtugal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Future!AU: a very troubled 21 year-old Kurt lives in New York City and is attending NYADA with his roommate and best friend Rachel. One night he meets Blaine Anderson, whom he vaguely remembers being in a competing show choir, the Dalton Academy Warblers, changing his life for the better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preface

In this story, Kurt never visited or transferred to Dalton Academy. In the midst of being bullied by Karofsky and the other homophobes, he confided in nobody and suffered in silence. Eventually Kurt hardened, and started to fight back to the point where the bullies were actually intimidated by him.

As a result, Karofsky came out by senior year, and he, Kurt and Santana formed a strange sort of bond because of persecution. Santana maintained a solid happy relationship with Brittany while Karofsky started dating someone he met at the gay bar they all went to every weekend. Kurt never met anybody he wanted or was willing to love. Despite what his father warned him, Kurt only had meaningless hook-ups and angst-filled relationships that never lasted more than a few months at most.

Kurt and Rachel were ambitious and followed through with their dreams. New Directions gained national attention by winning Nationals their senior year of high school. They did compete against the Warblers and many other show choirs that year, but Kurt only knew of Blaine Anderson. He was their competition and nothing else. They never became friends or anything more than that. But little did he know that they were destined to cross paths once more.


	2. Whatshisname

It was a cool Friday evening in New York City. Kurt, Rachel and a few fellow friends from NYADA went to their favorite bar downtown to celebrate a successful work week. They had wrapped their first musical play of the year, and it was a huge hit with the locals.

Rachel was loud, hollering at the top of her lungs, and spilling her colorful margarita on the table without bothering trying to clean it up. Their friends laughed with her, mixing in with the busy bustle of the bar. Kurt however, was quiet as he sat contentedly in a cushy bar booth, gripping his cool drink and taking slow drags of his cigarette.

Rachel always reminded him of how it could affect his singing voice if he got addicted, but he ignored her. He normally didn't smoke, but sometimes when he got drunk it just felt so damn good, especially if he needed to take a load off. The bar was dark, with red mood lighting, so the smoke curled seductively from the ash tray. Kurt admired the beauty of it, while occasionally enjoying the sweet burn in his lungs.

Kurt was very pleased with himself. Both him and Rachel played leads opposite each other, _finally_ , and they read rave reviews about their performances in local newspapers and journals. They deserved it though. They worked their asses off freshmen and sophomore year, and as juniors they had reached their goal. When they graduated next year, they were set to be Broadway stars. Hopefully. They could only try.

In his drunken haze, Kurt lazily eyed everyone in the bar. Maybe Kurt could pick up a hunk to help celebrate his success further? He couldn't remember the last time he had a good lay, so Kurt was feeling a bit sexually frustrated as of late.

His eyes eventually rested on a man with square-framed glasses and neatly gelled dark hair, who leaning over the counter, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Kurt thought he was breathtakingly handsome (especially in this light), in a very classical, dapper way; his _profile_ was to die for. 

He looked troubled, like a typical young man that had a lot on his mind. The bartender brought him another drink, which he cordially thanked him for and continued to hunch over with a crease on his brow; but his face looked so, _so_ smooth.

Kurt smiled at his smart fashion sense. He wore dark high-water jeans, and a modest white button up with blank suspenders and a bow tie. His peacoat was hung neatly over the back of his stool that swayed a little each time he moved. Kurt thoughts as he watched this stranger ranged from wondering if his ankles were cold as he downed more tequila shots, to what was bothering him because he was clearly a man who needed to loosen up. Kurt could definitely think of 20 raunchy ways of doing that.

Kurt continued his eye-fucking until the man turned and looked directly at him, as if he could feel Kurt's stares boring into him. His eyes narrowed behind his glasses at first, and then bulged as if he was shocked about something. Kurt turned away, embarrassed, and he wasn't really sure why. Usually at this point he would relentlessly keep eye-contact or make vulgar gestures until the guy invited him back to his place. Or vise versa.

Kurt peeked through his peripherals, and saw that the guy had his coat now thrown over his forearm, squeezing his way through the crowd in the direction of the booth Kurt was currently sitting at with his friends.

_Shit_.

Kurt made a show of putting out his cigarette, like it was the most interesting, elaborate thing in the world. The man approached their table moments later, and Kurt was about to open his mouth with a snarky, inappropriate greeting when-

"Berry? _Rachel Berry_? Is that you?" His voice was soft and light, highlighted with excitement. Kurt swore he picked up on slight edge to his voice, but that was only because Kurt liked to think of himself as someone who paid more attention to people than most.

Was it irritation? Possible. Or maybe it was because Kurt was currently fuming over the fact that this guy wasn't even acknowledging Kurt's presence. Maybe he wasn't gay. But Kurt was almost sure of it; he could always tell.

_God dammit. He's so fucking hot_.

Rachel stumbled in the middle of her story and looked up at the young stranger, bleary-eyed. "Uh, yes?"

"I remember you, 2012 Show Choir Nationals! You sang a beautiful duet that beat us out for the winning title!"

Her face colored, flattered by the compliment. "Oh thank you! I really owe it all to Kurt. I couldn't have done it without him."

The man's gaze landed on Kurt's for a few moments when Rachel gestured toward him. Kurt stared because his eyes were shining hazel, and quite inviting and... What was he thinking about again?

He looked away when Rachel asked, "What show choir were you in?"

"Oh! I'm sorry, I should have introduced myself. I'm Blaine Anderson. I was lead of the Dalton Academy Warblers."

He presented his hand for Rachel to shake. She took it, and Kurt noticed he had gorgeous, well-manicured hands. Kurt traced his lips with his fingertip, thinking about how he wanted one of those hands wrapped around his dick later tonight or maybe up his ass if this Blaine guy was lucky enough.

"Oh I remember you! You guys were fantastic. I never in my life heard such beautiful a cappella harmonies," Rachel exclaimed boisterously.

She started introducing Blaine to everyone at the table, when Kurt started to study his face closer. He really did look familiar, though now that he thought about it. 

Blaine looked to Kurt again, offering his hand to shake. Kurt took it, noticing his hands were soft, but slightly calloused at the tips. He could definitely work with those.

"Kurt Hummel," he introduced himself, smiling flirtatiously. "Hold on... weren't the Warblers from Westerville, Ohio?"

Blaine cleared his throat, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Yes, I actually just moved out here. I transferred from Kent State to NYU. I had to get out of there."

A shadow passed over Blaine's eyes, and it made Kurt extremely curious. But why? He generally could care less about the trivialities of perfect strangers, even if they were totally fuckable.

"Well that's why Kurt and I came to New York right after graduation. We're actually from Lima, and we were much bigger than Ohio," Rachel's explained, voice growing haughty, giving way to a semblance of her much younger self. Blaine however smiled warmly as she continued babbling and nodded sympathetically as if he understood the crippling burdens of being much more talented than the meager folks that came into contact with her everyday life.

"That's right, we were only about 2 hours away from each other. I wonder why we never really met properly," Kurt said, raising a perfectly groomed eyebrow at Blaine.

Blaine looked back at him, interest clearly captured and Kurt took full advantage; crossing his legs, baring his neck and rubbing it slowly like it was something he did all the time without even thinking. A nervous tick, if you will.

"Uh, yeah a shame," Blaine said haltingly, eyes following Kurt's movements.

_Gay or not, I've got him now_.

Kurt smiled devilishly. "So, Dalton's a boy private school, eh? I bet you have a lot of interesting, scandalous sex stories."

Giggles erupted around the table, while Blaine spluttered at Kurt's forwardness.

"Wait, _what_? Is that what people said about us?" Blaine wondered as if it was something of vital importance. It was just the worries of children, but Kurt appeased him.

"Yes, we at McKinley always joked about mass orgies after singing a number in the middle of the hallway because no teachers were around."

Rachel was laughing hysterically. "Well Santana mostly thought that. I think she secretly hoped that was true."

Kurt scoffed, " _Girl_ , didn't we all?"

Blaine looked bemused. "We were not all gay," he said quietly.

Kurt uncrossed his legs and licked his lips, looking directly into Blaine's eyes. "So, are _you_ gay then?"

Blaine's gaze didn't falter at first, but his reply was a bit delayed when it flickered down once to watch Kurt's tongue moisten his bottom lip. 

"Yes."

Kurt wanted to throw a fist in the air in victory, but kept his cool manner. He's had harder projects, that's for sure. He really needed to get this one in the bag.

"Would you like to join us?" Kurt scooted over along the booth and patted the space next to him.

Blaine smiled shyly as he sat down while a few of Kurt's friends chuckled. They knew Kurt's courting ways. If all went according to plan, his tongue would be down Blaine's throat in at least 10 minutes flat.

Once Blaine settled, Kurt asked, "So tell us a little about yourself, Anderson. What's your story?"

Blaine laid his coat across his lap, and folded his hands neatly across the table. For someone who was just hammering down shots, he was a pro at handling his drink. He didn't even seem tipsy.

"It's kind of personal," he said simply.

Kurt started to play with the soft hair at the nape of Blaine's neck. "Oh, honey. Everything's personal. We're all friends here, none of us bite." 

Kurt then leaned in really close and whispered, "… _hard_."

Blaine shivered, and shifted slightly away from him. Rachel winked encouragingly at Kurt, her face a frightening blotchy red as the waitress in a skimpy skirt made another round.

"Uh, well um. I'm here in New York mostly because I have lived in Ohio my whole life and needed to get out. It was always my dream to come and live here, so I just said the hell with it." 

Blaine paused, taking a deep breath and finished, "And, well.. I just went through a bad break up."

_Available… check!_ Kurt thought selfishly to himself.

There were collective ' _awww_ 's' and ' _I'm sorry_ 's' around the table. Rachel then nudged his arm, encouraging him to continue. Blaine sighed.

"Well, we were together since high school. He was my first boyfriend, actually. He wasn't very nice to me, but I guess I really didn't know better. The life I lead at Dalton was a sheltered one. I was going to a college that didn't interest me, and I was at a boring job that I couldn't stand… so I did the only thing I thought would help turn my life around."

There was a dramatic pause where everyone waited with drunken, bated breath.

"I moved here, to New York. The place where dreams come true and real life is right up in my face," Blaine gestured around them. "Unfortunately, I haven't really met anyone yet except you guys."

There was silence and one of their friends, Victoria cooed. "Ahh, well we are pretty awesome."

"Hang with us, we'll show you the City," Mallory chimed in.

"Yeah," Kurt agreed, and then placed his warm palm on Blaine's knee. "We clearly have similar… _interests_." Kurt stroked teasingly up Blaine's thigh. He shuddered again.

"I normally don't share this much information with people I don't know," Blaine shared, now blinking sluggishly. Guess those shots caught up to him. 

"Oh, I'm sure we'll get to know each other very well." Kurt's hand traveled further up.

Blaine looked over at Kurt nervously, who just winked in reply. Then, with a swift movement Kurt boldly squeezed around Blaine's bulge. He was delighted to discover that Blaine was half hard.

Blaine looked mortified, hopping up quickly from his spot, shielding his coat over his crotch.

"Oh! Well... let's get to it then, guys!" Blaine's voice was raised an octave. It was in Kurt's opinion, absolutely _adorable_.

However, Kurt just grinned wolfishly at him as the lot of them paid their bill and left, following Blaine out of the bar and into the cool, busy night. And Kurt couldn't help but admire Blaine's perfectly round ass on the way out that he hoped he would get more acquainted with later that night.

He looked up and smiled at the stars.


	3. Shenanigans and Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> note: all dream sequences are important for future key plots.

After bar-hopping for a couple hours and walking down the busy night streets getting to know Blaine and showing him around, they realized they should probably save enough money to pay rent on time this month.

Kurt remained the most sober of all, so when they bid goodbyes to their friends, he had to help a really drunk Blaine up to he and Rachel's apartment.

Kurt's breath was swirling around him in the cold night air as he struggled to hold Blaine upright. He felt the most content he had been in a long time, but in a new way. But he really didn't have time to reflect on it. He had to play babysitter to a very cute drunken boy. 

"Mmn's cool. Leme get a cab. 'Mright," Blaine slurred, his glasses askew on his sweaty face.

"No way. I'm not letting your fine ass get lost in this city. Let me take good care of you tonight," Kurt assured him with a purr.

Blaine's face was so flushed, but Kurt wasn't sure if it was from embarrassment or the fact that he was wasted out of his mind. He then started to giggle without any sort of explanation. 

Kurt would never admit to anybody he thought it was the most adorable thing in the world.

"Oh, Kurt. Youso nice. M'ass really that fine," Blaine sighed and leaned a head on Kurt's shoulder, slinking an arm lazily around his waist.

Kurt's hand went from Blaine's hip to squeeze his ass for emphasis. Blaine had a delayed gasp. 

"The finest ass I've seen in a long time," Kurt affirmed with a smirk.

Blaine twitched from the contact, and then stopped to face Kurt in the street, staggering a bit.

"Hey now, mister. I'muh drunk. Cannot take 'vantage of me," He pointed a finger at Kurt, swaying a little. "But you so beautiful, mmm-maybe later."

Kurt couldn't look away from his shining, golden eyes. It stirred something in Kurt and he couldn't quite put his finger on it. 

Kurt actually felt _gulity_ , which was something he wasn't used to at all. 

This Blaine guy was so _innocent_ and unawares. He just went through a really bad break up. Maybe Kurt should at least court him for a bit before he fucks him senseless. He deserved that.

 _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ Kurt thought irritably to himself.

Rachel whistled to get their attention, breaking his revere. "Guys we're almost there, hurry! I'd rather not get mugged tonight!"

"C'mon," Kurt said softly, barely recognizing his own voice, as he heaved Blaine forward for the final trek toward the apartment.

Once the door was closed and locked behind them, Rachel immediately fell face first into their worn sofa.

"Don't bother me until at least noon," she mumbled into the cushions. Kurt chuckled.

He then led Blaine to his room, holding onto him tightly so he wouldn't fall. Why did he even care so much? Normally if a guy was too drunk to fuck, Kurt would've ditched him as soon as possible.

"Wherewe, Kurt?" Blaine asked, obviously clueless. "This'not m'place."

"This is my place, Blaine," Kurt sighed and laid him gently down on the bed. 

" _Mmmm_.. Kurt. Bed, smells so good," Blaine stretched out leisurely and turned his face into one of Kurt's many pillows, inhaling deeply.

Kurt clucked his tongue. "C'mon, let me get your clothes off. I just changed the sheets."

"M'kay Kurt. S'long we cuddle," he said in a small voice, sounding like an excited child getting a surprise.

Kurt's heart stuttered in an unfamiliar way, but he ignored it.

"If you're lucky. Come here."

Kurt grabbed Blaine's legs and pulled him upright to the edge of the bed. Kurt removed his coat and hung it neatly over the back of his vanity chair. He then clicked Blaine's suspenders off, and started to unbutton his nice white shirt slowly, careful not to wrinkle it further.

Kurt could feel Blaine's eyes on him, and he knew why. Kurt's gestures were very affectionate, and so unlike his horny antics from earlier tonight. Kurt really had no idea what had gotten into him, but he chanced a look at Blaine, stopping mid-button.

Blaine reached a quivering hand and cupped Kurt's face, stroking his cheekbone lightly with his thumb.

"I see you, Kurt," he said with the most clarity in hours.

Kurt forgot how to breathe. He felt so open, raw and vulnerable in that moment and he couldn't look away. Everything was Blaine's eyes, and they were looking into his soul. He was utterly terrified.

Blaine said nothing else, just stared back. The intensity in the room was overwhelming, and Kurt could hardly believe he only just met Blaine tonight. He felt like he knew him already for lifetimes.

Then, as fast as the moment came, it left, regretfully, when Blaine closed his eyes and removed the hand from Kurt's cheek to rub his head.

"Everything'spinning," he said.

Kurt made with the last of the buttons and then slid Blaine's shirt off his shoulders, feeling his walls build back up.

"Shh, it's okay. Help me take your pants off, and you can lie down," Kurt murmured.

Blaine lifted his hips and allowed for his jeans to slide off, leaving him clad in only black boxer briefs. Kurt tried not to ogle. Another gesture so unlike himself.

"Thanks for taking care of me, Kurt."

Blaine fumbled with Kurt's covers for a minute before sliding in while Kurt got undressed in the bathroom. After brushing his teeth and putting on loose plaid pajama bottoms, Kurt shut off the lights and joined Blaine.

"S'cold," Blaine complained, scooting closer to Kurt, head under his chin. Kurt instinctively wrapped his arms around Blaine, and then sighed anxiously.

"I swear to God, if you barf in my bed, or anywhere in my room for that matter I'll slice one of your testicles," Kurt warned.

Blaine nuzzled into Kurt's chest. "Calm down, Kurt. I'always make it to toilet n'time," he mumbled. Kurt felt his warm breath on his chest, his exhales immediately slowing.

 _Maybe I'll wake him up with a morning blow job_ Kurt entertained thoughtfully to himself, stroking Blaine's back, and refusing to believe this was too intimate. His last thought before he drifted off was that it might ease his hangover...

***

_Kurt heart was filled with joy and young excitement. Everyone in the room jumped up and down, but it looked as if it was in slow motion. A cacophony of beautiful male voices reverberated around the auditorium._

_"Let's go all, the way tonight, no regrets, just love," a particularly dreamy voice sang. "We can dance, until we die, you and I, will be young forever..."_

_Kurt's eyes followed the lead vocalist, mesmerized. He was the most beautiful boy he has ever seen in his life. He danced in perfect formation with his uniform-clad peers, but remaining so gloriously in the spot light._

_The boy winked, and Kurt wished in that moment he knew this boy. Kurt wanted to pick his brain. He was the only other out gay guy in this region, or so he heard, and Kurt finally felt like he wasn't alone._

_Both show choirs tied for that round. Kurt glanced at Mercedes and she ran to him, hugging him tightly._

_They were going to Regionals._

_Kurt followed Mr. Schue's movements as he made his way to shake hands amiably with the boy._

_The boy was then tackled from behind by a sandy-haired boy with stunning green eyes. The boys looked at each other like nobody else was in the room. The dark haired one leaned in close and kissed him quickly on the lips, before cheering with the rest of his songbirds._

_Kurt turned away, his heart shattering. All of his hopes and dreams seemed so stupid in that moment. Of course that beautiful boy was with somebody, and Kurt alone. He was never going to find somebody to love him like that. Kurt would have to face the world on his own._

Kurt woke suddenly, drenched in cold sweat. He was panting and thrashing, eyes wide, burning with tears trying to remember where he was.

The only thing he saw a warm light in the living room. Kurt turned and stared at his bedside digital clock, blinking away the tears and the blurriness. 

6:52. He was home. Okay, everything was alright. He took a deep breath and sighed audibly. Kurt felt a body stir next to him.

"Is everything okay, Kurt?" Blaine leaned up on an elbow, undoubtedly looking at Kurt in concern, though they couldn't really see each other in the dark.

"Yeah," Kurt lied, running a hand through his sweaty hair. "Sorry about that, forgot you were in my bed."

Blaine settled back down and chuckled quietly. "Couldn't say no, could I? Man, my head hurts. I drank way too much."

"You can say that again," Kurt teased. "But seriously, fuck being up this early, let's go back to sleep," Kurt huffed and rolled over, pulling the sheets over his shoulder.

"But _Kuuuuurt_ ," Blaine complained.

"Ugh, you better not say that you have work or somewhere to be, because I'm not getting out of this bed to show you your way out," Kurt grumbled.

"No, that's not it," Blaine said quietly, voice suddenly low and husky.

This piqued Kurt's attention. "Oh?"

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hip and pressed his front flush against Kurt's back. Kurt couldn't help but moan because he felt Blaine's clothed erection against his ass. Kurt pushed back, trying to give Blaine friction.

" _Oh._ " Blaine's voice was even deeper now.

"Well, I could help you out with that," Kurt said teasingly, feeling himself instantly harden with the swoop of _want_ low in his abdomen.

So, he flipped over, grabbing Blaine's face and pulling him into a furious kiss that set his nerve-endings on fire. Blaine responded by gripping onto Kurt's waist even tighter, pulling him close.

Blaine let out a pleasured gasp when he felt Kurt's equally hard length against his and started rutting desperately. Everything was so _hot_.

" _Fuck_ , Kurt you feel so good," he groaned as Kurt broke away and started biting down Blaine's neck, trying to find his sweet spots.

Meanwhile, Blaine's hands wandered under Kurt's pajama bottoms, squeezing around the round and smooth naked slop of Kurt's gorgeous ass.

"You're all mine, now Anderson," Kurt growled, pushing Blaine onto his back and straddling him.

Blaine moaned, loud and wanton, digging his fingers into Kurt's hipbones, grinding their hips together with bruising force.

" _God_ you're so fucking hot," Blaine grunted in between thrusts. Kurt expertly rolled his hips down, starting to feel himself get close, heat coiling at the base of his spine.

Kurt leaned in, nipping at Blaine's earlobe. "You've got a dirty mouth in the bedroom, Anderson. Never would have thought since you're such a gentleman and all," he whispered.

Blaine grabbed a fistful of Kurt's hair, "I'm close."

Kurt nibbled on Blaine's bottom lip before ceasing his thrusts, sliding down his clenching legs. Kurt proceeded to licked a long line all the way down Blaine's stubbly throat to his toned chest, tasting the salty sweat on his skin. He then stopped to moan because Blaine grabbed his ass again, groaning in frustration.

"Why'd you stop," he asked desperately.

Kurt grinned, wishing Blaine could see, and pulled his boxers down mid-thigh. Kurt felt Blaine's erection spring free, the tip nudging his lips, getting them slightly wet with pre-come. Kurt felt himself salivate. Blaine shivered from the contact, squeezing Kurt's ass tighter - _tighter_ , and Kurt could barely breathe.

" _Please_ ," Blaine begged.

Kurt hummed in his throat, and then sat up, pulling his dick through the hole in his pajama pants. He leaned down, bracing himself against the bed and started to rub his cock against Blaine's in a slow circular motion.

They mutually moaned at the new contact and Kurt let out, "Mmmm much better-"

"Yes," Blaine whined as they picked up their pace, rocking the bed. "Yes... _faster_."

Kurt reached a hand between them and started jerking them both off in his fist in time with his thrusts. The friction was so hot; both their bodies were flush and sweating, breathing each other's air. They were dripping and burning but Kurt didn't have the patience to find lube and just fuck Blaine like he really wanted to. He just needed to get off _now_.

Blaine came first with a shout, his come spurting all over Kurt's hand and their chests. Kurt followed suit quickly afterward, hips stuttering as white starts exploded into his sights.

After few long, gasping pants, Kurt collapsed on top of Blaine, breathing heavily, twitching every now and then. He hadn't orgasmed so intensely in a really long time, and Kurt wasn't really sure why. He's had sex more times than he could count, and he and Blaine didn't even do that.

As Kurt pondered this, he felt Blaine trace gentle patters into his back.

"Mmm... thank you," he mumbled, sleep heavy in his voice. "That was 'mazing."

Kurt took a deep shuddering breath before responding with a resolute, "Yeah."

Neither of them moved or bothered to go clean up. Even though he could feel their come drying between them, Kurt's limbs were jelly, and he was sure Blaine's head ache was probably worse now. So he just let it be.

Kurt drifted off, and no dreams plagued him the rest of the night.


	4. The Philosophy of Love

Kurt slowly woke from his deep slumber, feeling something warm and wet brush against his chest. It was soothing, and felt amazing, so Kurt prolonged the inevitable of opening his eyes to the sun streaking through the crack in his window.

He suddenly became painfully aware that there was a warm body beside him, breathing evenly, and was very close. Too close to comfort.

Kurt peeked through his eyelids to see Blaine laying on his side, head leaning against his palm. His other arm held a dark blue washcloth that he was rubbing in circles on Kurt's chest.

The sun graced Blaine's dark toned skin in the most amazing way possible. Kurt was sure he was an angel, and this was probably still just a dream. Dream or reality, Blaine was staring at Kurt while he slept, he realized that now.

"What are you doing," Kurt's voice cracked from disuse. He turned his face slightly so he wouldn't offend Blaine with his morning breath. On the other hand, Kurt wasn't sure why he cared so much.

Blaine's hazel eyes continued to shine gloriously as he answered, an indecipherable emotion dawning his features. "Just cleaning you off, you know... from last night." A faint blushed colored his cheeks.

"Oh, right," Kurt stammered. "Thanks."

There was a brief silence, however Blaine never looked away.

Kurt had to ask. "Why were you watching me while I was sleeping?"

Blaine looked sheepish. "You looked really peaceful, it was cute," he admitted.

Kurt's heart jumped, but he outwardly rolled his eyes. "You're such a sap."

He heaved himself out of the bed, stretching out and cracking some joints. Blaine watched quietly, twisting the washcloth in his hand.

"Care to join me in the shower, lover boy?" Kurt winked.

"I... no thanks," Blaine decided. "I have a killer head ache, so I'll just lay here if that's okay."

"Sure," Kurt shrugged, trying not to feel too disappointed. 

He took the washcloth from Blaine and tossed it in the hamper. "I'll grab you some aspirin and some water once I'm finished. I doubt Rachel is up yet."

Blaine nodded, turning to lay on his stomach and cover his head with a pillow as Kurt closed the bathroom door behind him.

After 25 minutes, Kurt exited the bathroom in only a towel wrapped neatly around his waist. He made his way into the living room, filled a glass of water and snatched ibuprofen from a cabinet, and set it on his night stand.

He heard his bed creak as Blaine took the items and swallowed them, and mumbled, "Thanks."

"No problem," Kurt replied curtly as he sat down at his vanity, beginning his moisturizing morning routine. He always hated how dry his skin got, even in humid New York weather.

Kurt felt Blaine's eyes on his back when he proceeded to rub product into his hair. Although the silence was comfortable and not entirely awkward, Kurt could tell that Blaine was buzzing with things to say. So he waited.

"So," Blaine said finally. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Shoot," Kurt responded, wiping his sticky hands on his towel.

"Well," Blaine seemed hesitant. "I'm off work tonight, and if you are free too, ideally.. I would like to take you out."

Kurt immediately tensed. "Out? Out where?"

"You know, a nice restaurant or something," Blaine sighed. "A date."

"Why?" Kurt wondered.

"What do you mean why?" Blaine sounded annoyed. "Because I like you and want to get to know you more, I don't know."

Kurt ran his hands through his hair a few times again before answering. "I don't do dates," he stated flatly.

"Well why the hell not?" Blaine demanded, but he didn't raise his voice. "Did you not enjoy last night?"

"I enjoyed it very much, actually," Kurt said evenly. "That's why we skip the date, and just go straight to the fucking... ideally."

Kurt glanced over his shoulder briefly to see Blaine digging his fingers into his temples, looking agitated. Before Blaine looked up, Kurt closed his eyes and started applying moisturizer to his face.

"I just, you know," Blaine paused. "I've never done anything sexual like that outside a committed relationship. I'm not comfortable having that kind of intimacy if there are no feelings there."

Kurt remained silent, soaking up Blaine's words. He was instantly aware that he was treading in dangerous waters.

So he concentrated on rubbing the lotion into his pores. Kurt could tell this Blaine guy was a genuinely nice guy. He was a bit naive and had a too hopeful view of the world, but Kurt had to admit that the man heartbreakingly handsome in the most endearing way possible.

Normally, if Kurt's fuck buddy started developing feelings, Kurt would kick him out of his life, no strings attached. It was easy. Kurt never got hurt. And he was not going to let this doe-eyed man ruin that for him.

"Well I'm sorry to inform you, but that's just not how the real world works," Kurt sniped.

Kurt turned around to face Blaine, crossing his arms in legs as a defensive gesture.

Blaine stood up suddenly and started pacing, looking every now and then at Kurt accusingly.

"Well why can't it," Blaine demanded, his voice simmering with latent anger. "I believe in love, and it can do beautiful things!"

Kurt scoffed. "Are you listening to yourself? You sound like a child."

Blaine stopped his pacing and looked disbelieving at Kurt.

"How does believing in love make me a child?" he inquired with growing rage.

Kurt stood up to get in Blaine's face, willing him to understand.

"Because love is just a fantasy that people tell you to believe in, that it's something actually real - but it's just a fallacy," Kurt said through gritted teeth. "It's like believing in Santa Claus, or God. People don't want you to know the harsh reality of the world, so they tell you all these fairy-tails to keep you happy as a child. But all of us need to grow up eventually."

Blaine opened his mouth, shocked. He stepped back from Kurt, body looking defeated but his shimmering eyes portrayed pure heartbreak.

"That's... That's the saddest thing I've ever heard," his voice took on a gravelly tone, like he was about to cry.

Kurt's heart squeezed painfully in his chest, but he didn't move or say anything else. Just looked back at Blaine to show this was something he knew to be true. He wasn't trying to be mean, he was just being realistic.

Blaine blinked rapidly, and a couple of loan tears escaped, sliding gracefully down his cheeks. It made Kurt's heart hurt, and he didn't understand it. He had never felt anything like this before, though brief that he could remember in a long time at least. All he wanted to do was wrap Blaine in his arms and whisper in his ear that everything was okay, even if he knew things weren't. However, Kurt resisted the urge, standing with his fists balled up at his side. He only just met this guy, things shouldn't be this serious.

Blaine wiped his cheek with the back of his hand before falling into a sitting position on Kurt's bed, head in his hands. Kurt hears a few sniffles, which threatened to break is steel wall of resolve. He resisted feeling with all his might.

This was so stupid.. right?

Blaine finally looked up, his eyes darker than normal, but somehow that made them more tragically beautiful.

"What happened to you, Kurt?" he asked, his voice broken. "What made you like this?"

Kurt had to look away so Blaine wouldn't see the cracks in his walls. Those eyes would be the death of him. No matter what, if the dam of his emotions broke, he wouldn't be able to stop them.

Kurt sank into his chair and looked at the floor. "What does it matter? I am who I am and I'm never going to change."

The silence was deafening, because in Kurt's heart of hearts, he knew he could change. He has before. From a hopeless, wishful romantic to a cold, bitter young person.

Kurt's words were still ringing in the air after he said them. The quiet threatened to close in around them - _choking_. If Blaine wasn't going to say anything else soon, Kurt was going to run out of his apartment and scream in the streets. But-

"That's a lie," Blaine said, his voice sounding dead.

Blaine's tone scared Kurt so he quickly responded, trying to sound as resentful as possible. "You don't know anything about me."

Blaine stood up, grabbing Kurt's shoulder and forced him to turn around and face him.

"But I do," he insisted. "You're just a hardened version of yourself. But you don't have to close yourself off. We've all been through tough shit, but I never let it break me. And you shouldn't let it break you."

Kurt remained silent; something was clawing at his insides, _nagging_. Something didn't add up, and it was starting to bother him. 

However, Blaine continued.

"My dad, he hated the fact that I was gay. He never physically abused me or anything," Blaine assured quickly. "It was _worse_. He refused to acknowledge me as a human being. He didn't care much about my personal life or my feelings. He just had me as a son. But I had friends and other family who still loved me. So yes, the way he acted has affected me, of course it did. It still does. Just like the fact that I attended a dream private school has affected me, too. I sometimes felt all alone. But I never gave up on life and love."

Blaine looked searchingly into Kurt's eyes, trying to see if he was eliciting any sort of change. If anything, what he was saying only made Kurt feel worse.

"You didn't deserve that," Kurt finally said, his throat tight. "My dad supported me in everything I did. I never felt alone."

Kurt wanted to continue, but his throat closed up completely with a small, pitiful whimper. His wall has sprung a leak. _Fuck._

"I don't understand," Blaine said, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "If you have friends and family that love you, why are you like this?"

Quiet.

"PROBABLY BECAUSE MY FATHER DIED OKAY!" Kurt exploded, Blaine flinching at the sudden outburst. "In my senior year he had another heart attack, and he left me _all alone_. Nobody understood me, and the only one willing to love me was some fucking guy that bullied me horribly in the past before admitting his true feelings. How fucked up is that?"

Angry tears were streaming down Kurt's face now. He shoved Blaine's hand off his shoulder and stormed across the room, clenched his fist and punched a hole right through his bedroom door. "ARE YOU SATISFIED? MYSTERY SOLVED!" he screamed at Blaine, cradling his bleeding hand. 

Kurt never talked about his father, it was just something he couldn't handle, clearly. Blaine looked like he was in pain; his face was all scrunched up. "Oh my go-Kurt. I'm so sorry-"

"Don't! Just _don't_ ," he shot venomously.

"Why can't I say I'm sorry," Blaine asked tentatively. "I had no idea."

Kurt wiped tears furiously from his face. "Yeah, well. Now you do."

Blaine started taking hesitant steps toward Kurt, his arms up in surrender. Once he could tell Kurt wasn't going to explode again or run away Blaine gently cupped his cheek, wiping away tears with his thumb. 

He took a deep shuddering breath. "Kurt, I have a confession to make."

Kurt pointedly avoided his gaze, even as close as Blaine was, not saying anything.

"I remember you."

Kurt glanced at Blaine, surprised. "What?"

He sighed. "The second I saw you in the bar, I knew exactly who you were."

Kurt's mouth tried to form 'how?' but it never came out. Blaine seemed to understand, and nodded.

"The reason I care so much is because I remember you so well, like something fried impressionably on my brain," Blaine's eyes kept darting around Kurt's face, eyes wide and sympathetic. "You were watching me perform. You looked so _happy_. You looked so young and carefree. It made me wish to know you."

Kurt's dream from last night flooded his brain with sudden force. His eyes started to sting. All his 16 year-old emotions felt so fresh. He tried with all his strength to bite back sobs.

"But we never truly met." 

Blaine looked sad. "I just later admired your winning duet with Rachel in the crowd at Nationals. To be honest, I've never seen so much heartbreaking beauty in my life. Your voice is one nobody can ever forget."

Blaine smiled slightly, but it didn't reach his eyes. He continued stroking Kurt's cheek, breathing slowly. Kurt looked determinedly back; he absolutely couldn't believe it, he was at a complete loss of words. _Blaine remembered him_.

Before he knew it, Blaine had closed the distance between them and placed a warm, sweet kiss on Kurt's lips. Kurt kissed back gently, body shaking.

"Please, Kurt. Let me take you out. I can give you all the love you deserve," his voice was barely above a whisper.

Kurt placed his hand on top of Blaine's, took it off his face, and curled their fingers together.

"Okay."


	5. The Hardest Part

Kurt and Blaine started seeing each other on a regular basis after that fateful day.

Whenever Rachel brought it up, Kurt would shrug and say, "We're just hanging out." 

Even if Blaine drove over to Kurt's apartment to pick him up, or offer to pay for the expensive meal they enjoyed together, Kurt still insisted that they weren't dates.

Blaine was patient. He acknowledged that Kurt was in denial, but he also knew the hardships he has been through, so Kurt needed time. People don't just completely change overnight.

If Blaine had any close friends they would probably tell him that Kurt was a lost cause and that Blaine was wasting his time. But there was just something about Kurt that made Blaine want to be close to him. They were like magnets drawn to each other. Even as infuriating as Kurt could be sometimes, whenever Blaine was alone, he would find himself missing his presence.

Being with each other so often also came at a cost. Ever since their short, sexy encounter in Kurt's bed while Blaine was drunk, they haven't done anything else except make out and a bit of heavy petting. Blaine wanted to be sure that Kurt was making a connection before they would continue any sort of sexual contact. However, at both their demise, Kurt remained metaphorically at arm's length, only showing Blaine brief moments of vulnerability.

They were at Blaine's apartment on the Lower East Side one evening, the TV humming in the background while Blaine idly massaged Kurt's feet. Although Kurt had a computer in his lap, his eyes were on Blaine. When Blaine sensed his gaze upon him, he turned to see Kurt glance back at his laptop, walls coming up to hide what he was feeling only moments before.

This frustrated and saddened Blaine to no end. He made a breakthrough with Kurt that day in his bedroom, but Kurt was still clearly hesitant of giving himself to Blaine in that way. Nobody should have to feel that cautious with their feelings, especially someone has big-hearted as Kurt. Granted, emotional pain is sometimes dreadfully worse than physical, but Blaine was sure if Kurt got rid of his mask, just for a few minutes, the world would be so much more beautiful to him.

Blaine was dozing when he felt Kurt's toes press into his upper-thigh. He rubbed his eyes and noticed Kurt's laptop was closed, and Kurt had his hands folded neatly over it.

"So when do I get to fuck you?" He stated bluntly.

Blaine shook his head slightly to make sure he heard right. Although Kurt has made his intentions clear since the moment he met Blaine, ever since their heartfelt talk Kurt hasn't been as forward.

"I mean, we've been hanging out, and I like you and stuff," Kurt continued, looking slightly embarrassed.

"We're dating."

Kurt ignored Blaine, foot stroking up his thigh again. "… And I think you like me too, so, we're two consenting adults.. I'm really horny, and it's been _way_ too long since I've gotten laid so why not?"

Blaine grabbed Kurt's foot to stop the tantalizing motions. "Because I want it to mean something, Kurt."

Kurt sighed irritably, avoiding Blaine's gaze. "It does mean something. It means a good fuck between friends."

"That's not what I mean," Blaine said flatly, stung slightly by Kurt's words. Does he really think that they are no more than friends? What they do together was so much more than platonic.

Kurt snatched his foot from Blaine's grasp and pulled his knees up to wrap his arms around his legs. Blaine has taken notice to these types of defensive gestures that Kurt displays whenever he's feeling uncomfortable.

"I know," Kurt muttered quietly. "You don't understand, Blaine. I can't m-make love."

Blaine slid along the couch to get close to Kurt.

"I realize this is very difficult for you, Kurt, but you're going to have to trust me," Blaine said soothingly.

Kurt scoffed. "Easier said than done."

Blaine smiled sympathetically for a moment, kneading Kurt's calves. Kurt closed his eyes for a moment enjoying this treatment until his phone went off.

"Hello?" Kurt answered.

" _Hey man, it's me_." It was Finn.

"Oh hey bro, what's the haps?" Kurt joked. He really missed Finn since he decided to stay in Ohio and take over Burt's tire shop, effectively breaking Rachel's heart.

" _Not much. So dude, this was going to be a surprise, but I can't hold it in any longer_ ," Finn's voice was nothing short of excitement.

"Go on," Kurt prompted.

" _So a few of us spent the summer saving up so we can come visit you_ ," Finn blurted in a rush.

Kurt's chest swelled with affection. "Oh, you guys didn't have to do that! I was coming back for Christmas this year."

" _Dude, we miss you. Especially Santana and me_."

"Hey now, don't get too mushy on me," Kurt scolded playfully. "When will you guys be here?"

" _Our plane leaves in 12 hours, so I'll see you early tomorrow afternoon, hopefully sooner_!"

Kurt couldn't help the grin stretch across his face. He couldn't wait to show everyone around the city that he now called home. Blaine was watching Kurt curiously.

"Who's all coming?"

" _Okay well obviously Santana and myself. Puck, Quinn, Mercedes, Brittany, Sam, Artie, Tina and Mike_ -" Finn halted, and Kurt heard mumbling on the other line.

"So the whole Glee Club gang is getting all back together," Kurt commented. "Our apartment is really small; not sure how we are going to have to make room for you all."

" _Oh, yeah. Santana said Karofsky is coming too_." Finn didn't sound happy about it at all.

"Well the more the merrier," Kurt said off-handedly. "You really still have a problem with Dave?"

" _Dude, he terrorized you all junior year _," Finn said matter-of-factly, maybe with a little hint of bitterness. " _It's kinda hard to forgive the guy. Even though he was just being a self-hating gay, you're my brother and you mean a lot to me_."__

__"Finn that was a long time ago. He's my friend, remember? Be nice," Kurt said, trying to hide the lump of emotion rising in his throat._ _

__Finn was quiet for a few moments while the mutual understanding sunk in._ _

__" _Well we need to go pack, I'll see you tomorrow_."_ _

__"Can't wait! Bye, Finn."_ _

__Kurt hung up, smiling dopily at his phone. He glanced up at Blaine to see he had a really soft, affectionate look on his face._ _

__"Finn's your brother?" Blaine guessed. "You love him."_ _

__Kurt shrugged. "Yeah, we're close. Especially after dad died, his mom only had us, so we got real tight."_ _

__"Oh so he's your step brother? What happened to your mom?"_ _

__Kurt's face darkened. "She died when I was really young."_ _

__Blaine's heart broke, and he couldn't help grabbing Kurt's hand and squeezing tight. It's one thing to lose one parent, but to lose TWO before Kurt was even an adult, that was just _tragic_._ _

__"Kurt, I can't even begin to imagine-"_ _

__Kurt cut him off. "Please, could we just talk about anything else?"_ _

__"Sure," Blaine agreed softly after a beat. "What would you like to talk about?"_ _

__Something crossed Kurt's features. "How about, what would I like to _do_?"_ _

__Kurt moved forward until he had Blaine straddled under him. Blaine took in Kurt's steely expression before he crashed their lips together in a heated kiss. Even as much as his body protested and hated him for it, Blaine pushed him away. They couldn't do this now. Not when Kurt was so shut off, especially after an emotionally charged conversation._ _

__Kurt huffed in annoyance. "You're such a cockblock you know that right?"_ _

__"I'm sorry," Blaine apologized sincerely. "But from what it sounded like, you're having a lot of guests. Let me help you and Rachel set up."_ _

__Kurt shoved himself off the couch and went to pick up his leather jacket._ _

__"Alright, fine. But just as a warning, if you withhold from me too long, I might have to go looking for sex elsewhere. And that would be a shame," Kurt said half-heartedly._ _

__"Kurt," Blaine said warningly. Kurt's eyes widened when he saw the severe hurt flash across Blaine's eyes._ _

__"I was just joking calm down," Kurt said quickly. "There's nobody in NYC as cute as you, I'm sure of that."_ _

__"That's not the point," Blaine said quietly. "I'm under the impression that we're going steady."_ _

__Kurt rolled his eyes. "You are so old-fashioned."_ _

__Blaine grumbled. "I know we never discussed it at length, but I don't think we should see other people. That's how real relationships work. They're exclusive."_ _

__Kurt slipped on his jacket and looked away. "Well, that sounds boring. What if you get sick of me, and want action elsewhere?"_ _

__Blaine couldn't help but smile. "I don't that will be a problem. I'm kind of a long-term relationship kind of guy. I've only been with one man."_ _

__Kurt flipped around. "Are you serious?"_ _

__Blaine blushed slightly, looking up at Kurt under his lashes. "Yeah, Sebastian was my only boyfriend, and we were together a long time. I was content, but well, he wasn't. He cheated on me eventually."_ _

__Kurt felt white, hot possessive anger flare through his chest. "Well, he's a fuck and didn't deserve you."_ _

__Blaine laughed nervously, and walked up to Kurt, taking his hands into his. "I want to give myself to you, Kurt. But I want the feeling to be mutual."_ _

__Kurt rolled his eyes again. "You've got to be joking right? I've wanted into your pants since the moment I saw you."_ _

__Blaine shook his head. "You know what I mean."_ _

__Kurt stared into Blaine's eyes, and for the briefest moment Blaine saw his resolve waver. But Kurt turned away._ _

__"C'mon, we need to go let Rachel know people are coming."_ _

__Blaine couldn't help the disappointment, sadness and frustration well in his chest as he followed Kurt out to the car._ _

__They arrived back at Kurt's apartment to see Rachel was doing dishes with a disgusted look on her face._ _

__"Kurt, I can't believe how crusty these dishes got, can't you do your share once in a while?" She protested irritably._ _

__"Fuck, Rachel can you just shut up for a second?"_ _

__She looked at him expectantly, with a prize bitch look on her face. Kurt however was one-upping her with a sneer. It was a battle of wills, Blaine realized._ _

__"You can't say I don't do shit around the house, I love cleaning if I set my mind to it. And I've never once heard a thank you," he told her haughtily._ _

__"Whatever, sorry," she mumbled going back to her work. Kurt's expression immediately softened._ _

__"Have you talked to Finn," he asked tentatively, trying not to upset her further._ _

__She nodded frustrated. "He called about an hour ago saying he told you everything," she sighed. "I wish he kept it a surprise like I intended it to be."_ _

__Kurt laughed. "Well I'm going to go make the couch and grab sleeping bags."_ _

__Blaine and Kurt fell asleep on the couch that night, too tired after the movie to go back to Kurt's bed. Rachel was curled up on the floor, arm slung over their dog. Blaine ended up being the little spoon, and Kurt would never admit to himself how right it felt to have Blaine snoozing so preciously in his arms._ _

__***_ _

___Kurt was standing a stuffy room, putting on a suit worthy of Best Man. There was a soft knock on the door._ _ _

___"Come in," Kurt called, smoothing out any wrinkles._ _ _

___"You look great son," Burt said, eyes shining with pure happiness. He fixed Kurt's tie and pulled him into a warm hug._ _ _

___"I'm so happy for you Dad," Kurt smiled genuinely, eyes brimming with tears._ _ _

___Burt pulled away and squeezed Kurt's shoulders._ _ _

___"I cannot wait, Kurt for the day you get married to the man you love. Your mom. Carole. They completed my world, and you deserve that and so much more, Kurt. I want you to remember that."_ _ _

___Kurt nodded, sniffling._ _ _

___"Thanks Dad," his voice broke. "I promise I won't forget."_ _ _

__***_ _

__Kurt drifted slowly through the purgatory between sleep and wakefulness._ _

__It was like Kurt could still feel his father's arm wrapped around him, holding him in place. A presence forever with Kurt. On the other hand, Kurt could smell Blaine's hair gel, and he could feel hot tears streaming silently down his cheeks._ _

__And the pain. The pain was overwhelming. It was so raw and so real that Kurt felt himself clutching at his chest. Once he realized he was fully awake, he couldn't even move because he was so immobilized by agony._ _

__He felt Blaine stir then turn around on the couch to pull Kurt closer to his chest. Kurt clung to him like a lifeline, hearing the broken sobs finally escape his throat._ _

__"Shhh, I've got you, Kurt," Blaine whispered, kissing the tears away. "Don't cry. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, baby. I promise everything will be okay, Shhh."_ _

__But Blaine's words only made Kurt cry harder. He knew, deep inside that everything wasn't going to be okay._ _


	6. Opening Up

Neither of them brought up Kurt's nightmare or soft hysterics the next day. Blaine watched Kurt eat cereal quietly remembering that he had to hold Kurt for a whole hour before his tears subsided and he finally fell asleep once more.

Blaine drank his coffee serenely, sighing contentedly because this lazy day was a rare gift. Kurt was wearing loose pajama bottoms that hung low on his waist. Blaine eyes glided over Kurt's pale, muscular form, and followed a light spattered trail of hair down his bellybutton until it disappeared under his pants. Blaine noticed a faint scar placed on his left rib cage.

"Where'd you get that scar?" Blaine chanced.

Kurt looked up at Blaine, hesitant. He had bags under his eyes, and his messy hair was falling freely on his forehead.

"It's nothing," Kurt muttered, looking away from Blaine.

Kurt stared into his cereal bowl, scarfing it down impossibly fast, and then poured himself some more. Blaine could tell he was anxious for everyone's arrival.

"It's from high school, a knife fight with bullies," Rachel intruded nosily, from her place lounging in the recliner, watching the news.

"I won, that's all that matters," Kurt shrugged, stuffing his mouth once more.

Blaine drank deeply, closing his eyes and enjoying the scalding liquid in his esophagus, mulling over this new information. He cleared his throat.

"You know, I got beat up in my freshmen year in high school after a school dance. Real bad. My collarbone got fractured and it hasn't been right ever since," Blaine shared.

Kurt looked up, appalled. Blaine saw something dark flash across his face.

"That's why I transferred to 'safe' Dalton from public school. I'm still not sure it was a wise choice."

Kurt pushed his bowl away from him, looking sick to his stomach. "If I knew you then, I would have killed them," Kurt's voice was seething with rage.

Blaine knew Kurt wasn't lying to extent. Although this side of Kurt put him on edge, Blaine saw it as a sign that Kurt cared for him.

Blaine got up to rinse his mug in the sink, and made his way to Kurt, rubbing his shoulders soothingly.

"I'm fine now baby," Blaine reassured.

Kurt froze remembering that the only other time he used that endearment was last night during his moment of vulnerability.

Kurt stood up to wash his bowl in the sink. "They better get here soon, I'm tired of waiting," he dodged.

As if on cue, there was a musical knock on the door.

Rachel stumbled out of her chair, unlocked the door and threw it open, only to be swept up into the arms of a tall man. Blaine could tell that the intimate hug said a lot of things, above all that they used to be lovers.

Kurt walked over to them, grinning and said, "Finn."

With a dopey, lopsided smile, Finn enveloped Kurt in his arms. "It's so nice to see you, man."

Kurt and Rachel greeted the rest of the people crowding their doorway. The group slowly made their way in, glancing around them curiously.

"Come in, come in, let me show you around," Rachel insisted.

"Well hello there, who is this?" a female with long gorgeous black hair drawled, indicating Blaine. Her hands were laced with a beautiful blonde.

Blaine stepped forward to introduce himself. "Hi, I'm Blaine Anderson." He smiled warmly.

"Santana. And this is my girlfriend, Brittany," Santana shook his hand. "So, I've got a really important question to ask; are you sleeping with Kurt or Rachel?"

Blaine blushed. "Erm, neither," he stammered.

"Well, in that case I'd like to offer you a once in a lifetime chance to join me and Brittany in the bedroom before we have to go back to Ohio," she batted her eyelashes seductively.

Blaine could immediately see why Santana and Kurt were close. His face colored more. "I-uh. Honored. But I'd have to decline," he rejected politely. "I'm gay, you see."

"Ohhh," realization dawned on Santana's face. She turned to Kurt who was talking animatedly with someone Blaine recognized as Mercedes from a photo in Kurt's bedroom. "Kurt, do I have the decency to ask why the hell you aren't getting all up on this?"

Kurt stopped midsentence and smirked. "I'm working on it."

Santana shook her head delicately. "You're lacking, my dear. He looks like a keeper." Her eyes roved over Blaine, and he couldn't help but feel exposed.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Oh, come off it Kurt, you can be honest. You guys go on dates all the time, and don't even pretend you weren't loud that first night you met."

"What?" Kurt looked shocked.

Rachel laughed. "I may have been drunk, but you guys are quite the moaners."

Blaine wanted to melt through the floor. He was never comfortable discussing his intimate sex life, especially in front of strangers.

"We're just friends," Kurt stated, his tone unreadable. Blaine's heart twinged at his words.

Santana circled Blaine, eyeing him like he was her prey. Blaine glanced nervously around at everyone, and Finn walked up, shaking his hand stoically. Blaine could tell this gesture was symbolic of his protectiveness of Kurt.

Kurt strolled over, dragging Mercedes with him and smacked Blaine's ass. He jumped in surprise.

"This is, Mercedes. My non-vulgar best friend," Kurt introduced. She hugged Blaine.

"Are you a magical hobbit," Brittany interjected.

"Huh? Me?" Blaine asked, completely dumbfounded. Meeting Kurt's friends was a lot more overwhelming that he thought it would be. He should have known better.

Brittany nodded urgently. "You are short and hairy, and I can tell you have magical powers," Brittany continued. "I can see you gave some to Kurt, there is a light in him."

Blaine laughed nervously, not knowing what to say. Artie rolled his wheelchair up to Blaine, and clapped him on the elbow.

"Don't worry about it, she just says stuff like that," he whispered, winking amiably at Blaine.

However, Santana gave Kurt a knowing glance. Even though Brittany was ditzy and didn't know the most basic of facts, she sometimes had shining moments of wisdom. What she lacked intellectually she made up for seeing the truth right through people. This made Kurt feel extremely uncomfortable. Was he really that obvious about his connection to Blaine only minutes after seeing his friends?

They spent the day sightseeing. Quinn and Tina had sparkles in their eyes because the last time they were in New York was when they lost at Nationals junior year.

Puck, Karofsky and Kurt kept thinking of creative ways to pull pranks on Finn. His reactions and lumbering stature made it really easy. Blaine just watched them fondly, happy to see Kurt in his element. On the other hand, it made Blaine miss the few friends he had in high school and what he left behind.

Later that night, they decided to go to a liquor store and drink in the apartment to save money. Plus, they were exhausted from the day's travels.

Kurt leaned against the countertop, content in everyone's company. He sipped his beer, smiling slightly as he watched Blaine and Mike chat animatedly about who knows what.

Meanwhile, Artie and Puck were having an intense game of chess, and the girls danced to music in the middle of the living room. Finn was clapping, completely drunk off his ass, sitting on the couch squished up against the wall.

"Having fun?"

Kurt was startled at Karfosky suddenly being at his side. Kurt grinned and raised his beer to clink it against his.

"How's life in Lima, what are you up to these days," Kurt asked conversationally.

"Oh, work mostly. I weld. It's pretty manly you know," Karofsky winked.

Kurt chuckled. "I can see some scars," he acknowledged his darkened forearms.

"All in a day's work," Karofsky said. "What happened to your hand, it's all bandaged up?"

"Got mad. Punched a door. No big deal," Kurt waved it off. "How's Seth?"

Karofsky frowned. "We broke up a few months ago."

"Oh, no I'm really sorry." Kurt patted him on the shoulder. "What happened?"

Karofsky shrugged. "We didn't really click, I suppose. I think he was cheating on me, but I'm not really sure about that." Karofsky paused. "I also think he could tell I never loved him as much as I loved you."

"Dave..," Kurt warned.

Karofsky set his beer on the table, leaned into Kurt, lowering his voice. "No, I mean it, Kurt. You were the one who got away."

Kurt shifted uncomfortably. "You know why that is."

Karofsky sighed. "Is that Blaine guy your boyfriend? You can be straight with me."

Kurt dragged a hand through his hair. "I… don't know if he is or not," Kurt admitted truthfully. "We hang out, go out and stuff." Kurt shrugged.

"So you guys fucking or what?" Karofsky sounded jealous.

"No," Kurt said sourly. "The first night we met we fooled around, but nothing since."

"Then why are you letting him stick around," Karofsky demanded. "That doesn't sound like you. I can't even count how many dudes you've hooked up with and tossed aside."

Kurt sighed irritably. "I know. I just really like him. I dunno," Kurt trailed off.

Karofsky placed his hand on top of Kurt's.

"Why didn't you ever give me a chance? We've been friends a long time, so you've clearly forgiven me for my mistakes."

Kurt pulled his hand away. "I understand that you were scared in high school, but I just couldn't, Dave. Before you bravely came out, you bullied me. That never goes away. I'm incapable of love anyway, so you deserve more than that."

Karofsky shook his head, frustrated that Kurt wasn't getting his point. "I would have settled for just one night with you. I still would."

Kurt rubbed his forehead, taking another swig of his beer. "That wouldn't be right."

"What do you even mean by that?" Karofsky was getting angry. "You've had meaningless sex with countless guys, and you can't even do that with me?"

Kurt turned away toward the freezer to grab some ice. "I have feelings, you know."

"Well you sure don't act like it!" He slammed his fist against the counter.

A silence rang around the room.

Blaine rushed to Kurt's side. "What's going on?"

Kurt avoided his gaze, "Nothing just-"

"Karofsky and I are going to take a walk," Finn cut in. Kurt looked up at him, and they exchanged nods. Although Finn was drunk, he knew exactly what was going on, and he needed to diffuse the situation. "I need to sober up a bit anyway."

"I'll come with you man," Puck chimed. "You're tagging along with us too Sam, Chang."

Karofsky slumped in Finn's grasp, defeated. "I'm sorry, Kurt."

"I know," Kurt said quietly.

They left. After a moment of deliberation, Mercedes chased after them to be with her boyfriend. She was the most sober, and had a better sense of direction more than any of them, so Kurt knew they'd get home safely.

"C'mon." Blaine slipped a hand on Kurt's lower back, directing him toward the bedroom.

"Karofsky's a stupid face," Rachel slurred. Her head was in Quinn's lap, her hair being toyed with. "We're gonna watch a movie, ok Kurt?" Tina was already curled asleep on the floor in a sleeping bag, and Santana and Brittany were tangled up in armchair, kissing languorously. 

"Goodnight ladies," Blaine said.

Once Kurt's maimed door was closed behind them, Kurt made his way to the bathroom to change without a word. Blaine stripped into his boxers and waited on the bed for Kurt to come back.

"Should I have to start worrying about this Karofsky guy giving you trouble," Blaine called softly, not being able to keep it in much longer.

Kurt walked out of the bathroom, wiping a wet washcloth across his face. He sat down at his vanity, beginning to moisturize.

"No, he's just quick-tempered sometimes," Kurt assured. "Plus, he was just jealous of you."

"Jealous of me? Why?"

"I think he still has feelings for me or something after all this time, I never really expected him to," Kurt said.

Blaine couldn't help but feel annoyed. "Well we're just friends, apparently. You can go be with him if you want."

Kurt had heard Blaine say anything so petulant. "I don't want to be with him, Blaine."

Blaine crossed his arms stubbornly. "Well why is that?"

"Because he was the one who bullied me in high school, I could never be anything more than just his friend," Kurt explained calmly.

"Oh."

Kurt felt a rush in his throat, his feelings pushing him to say something he didn't want to. It gnawed at him until it came out in a rush. 

"And plus, I like having you around, you make me happy. I don't want to mess that up."

Kurt could hardly believe he said it. Apparently neither did Blaine because he remained quiet. Kurt got nervous so he turned around to take it back, feeling foolish, when he saw the look on Blaine's face.

His eyes were shining and his smile was slight but full of pure affection.

"Thank you for saying that, Kurt." He got up and put a finger under Kurt's chin, kissing him softly.

Kurt's face burned ever so slightly. It was something he was not accustomed to; being embarrassed. "Oh, it's nothing-"

"Kurt, I want you to make love to me."

"I- what?" Kurt wasn't expecting this sudden change of events.

"I'm ready."

Kurt's mouth dropped open as Blaine leaned back onto Kurt's mattress, splaying his legs and stretching out. He pursed his lips and quirked a brow. Kurt was practically salivating.

"Now," Blaine demanded.

Kurt had never rushed with so much haste in his life.


	7. Making Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning: barebacking

Kurt could feel Blaine smiling under his lips as he kissed him with as much enthusiasm as possible.

Blaine's hands tangled in Kurt's hair, and pulled slightly. This caused Kurt to sigh, parting his lips and granting entrance of Blaine's searching tongue.

Kurt grappled to pull Blaine closer, body screaming FINALLY! _FINALLY!_ Sparks of adrenaline shot through Kurt's veins at the sensation of skin on skin contact. Their smooth chests slid together, legs tangled up, but Kurt wanted more, _more_. It wasn't enough.

Blaine rolled them over, pinning Kurt under him. He broke the kiss and started mouthing at Kurt's neck. Kurt arched so Blaine could get better access, moaning softly.

Kurt's eyes fluttered shut as Blaine scraped his teeth ever so slightly against Kurt's stubbly jaw. Kurt scratched his fingernails down Blaine's back, causing him to shiver, and then slipped his palms under Blaine's boxers to squeeze his ass. Blaine groaned, bucking into Kurt.

"Oh my god, I can't believe we waited so long," Blaine hummed between kisses on Kurt's collarbone. Blaine swiped his tongue down Kurt's chest, until he reached a nipple. He sucked lightly at the nub, causing Kurt to writhe in pleasure.

"We?" Kurt inhaled sharply as Blaine bit down on his nipple, and started traveling down his navel. "This is all your fault you know, guhnng..."

Blaine was nuzzling Kurt's hip while stroking Kurt's straining erection through his pajama bottoms.

"Fuck, Kurt. You feel so good, taste so good, smell so good," he sighed. "Everything about you is perfect, I can't-"

Kurt pulled Blaine up and started kissing him with fiery passion. Their teeth clashed and their tongues battled for dominance as they moaned brokenly into each other's mouths.

Blaine's hand slipped under Kurt's loose pants, and grabbed his cock firmly by the shaft.

"Please," Kurt begged, breaking the kiss and thrusting into Blaine's palm.

"I've got you," Blaine said breathlessly, as he slid down Kurt's frame once more.

He pulled Kurt's bottoms all the way off, and Kurt felt his cock spring free. In record time, Blaine grabbed him, sliding his thumb through the pre-come pooling at the head.

Kurt became a whimpering mess when Blaine started pumping him lazily, his hot breath ghosting over his cock. Blaine seemed to take pity on him, because he started to mouth lightly at the head, saving the musky scent and taste.

Blaine sunk down agonizingly slow, until he reached his fist, and started working them together. On each upstroke, Blaine's tongue swirled around the head, and then tickled the underside, before hallowing out his checks and sinking down once more, sucking, slurping. Blaine was excellent at sucking cock, and Kurt reveled in this.

"Yes, fuck," Kurt groaned, resisting the urge to thrust up into Blaine's hot, wet mouth. He settled for fisting Blaine's sweaty black curls, following his bobbing movements.

Without warning, Blaine pulled off and started kissing down Kurt's inner-thighs. Kurt spread his legs, and then Blaine sucked a hickey into the junction between leg and hip, nuzzling the inflamed flesh afterward. Kurt whined because he was so close, yet still so far away.

"Why did you stop," Kurt asked, his voice breathy and high-pitched.

Blaine didn't answer, but started mouthing even lower, until he tongued Kurt's balls ever so slightly. Kurt's breath hitched, and he spread his legs even further apart.

Blaine hummed, gripping Kurt's thighs, and lifting him just a fraction off the bed. Blaine swiped his tongue over Kurt's entrance a few times, causing Kurt to pant.

"Is this okay," Blaine asked, words ghosting over Kurt's exposed skin. Kurt shuddered and managed to squeeze a ' _yes_ ' through his lips.

Blaine's licked expertly over Kurt's hole again, trying to relax the muscles before sliding in ever so slightly. Kurt hissed in pleasure, screwing his hips down to get Blaine deeper, wanting his face closer-

Blaine withdrew. "You really like this don't you?" 

He looked up at Kurt who was nodding frantically, his pupils dilated so wide that his irises were just a thin blue outline.

"I thought you wanted to fuck me, not the other way around," Blaine teased, smirking slightly, playing with Kurt's testicles.

Kurt's eyes clouded even darker with lust. "Yeah, you're right."

And with that, Kurt heaved himself off the bed, and started digging through his nightstand drawer. He pulled out a fistful of condoms and a half-empty bottle of lube, and threw them onto his pillow.

"There's a reason why I rarely bottom," Kurt shared.

Blaine lounged out on Kurt's bed, rubbing his hard-on through his briefs, eyeing Kurt's lean form. "Why is that?"

Kurt crawled on top of Blaine until they were flush against each other. He kissed Blaine deeply, rutting into him before pulling back to growl, "because I'm really good at fucking people senseless."

Blaine let out a long, breathy moan. "Then get to it-"

Kurt obliged by ripping Blaine's boxer-briefs off, and then pushing his legs wide apart. Seeing Blaine spread out and waiting like this made Kurt impossibly harder. His skin was golden-tan with lots of hair, which was normally not Kurt's thing but fuck if it wasn't something he needed to be a part of.

"God, Blaine. You're so fucking sexy like this," Kurt groaned, squirting lube onto his index and middle finger, rubbing them together to warm it up.

He teased Blaine's entrance before slipping one finger in, tight and hot, letting Blaine get used to the intrusion. Blaine threw his head back, pushing down onto Kurt's finger. "More," he grunted.

"Already?" Kurt was surprised. "You're a cockslut, aren't you Blaine?"

Kurt slipped in another finger, scissoring to the best of his ability to stretch. Blaine groaned again and started to fuck himself deeper with the fingers inside him.

"No," he disagreed, panting. "I'm just impatient right now because I can't wait for your cock to fill me up, _guh_ , Kurt-"

Kurt shoved a third finger in roughly, causing Blaine to shout. It has been so long, for both of them and Blaine just reveled in the pain and pleasure of the stretch.

Kurt leaned in close, and nibbled on Blaine's earlobe. "You like it rough don't you," he whispered. Blaine shivered, still screwing his hips down. Kurt's fingers weren't moving nearly enough, weren't nearly deep enough-

"Now, Kurt, please," Blaine whined.

Kurt withdrew his fingers, and ripped open the wrapper with his teeth and his non-slippery hand. He rolled the condom on impatiently, watching Blaine positively writhe with anticipation.

Kurt crawled on his knees and lined himself up between the shivering, sweating thighs, leaning over Blaine, hand splayed next to his hair. Blaine then wrapped his legs tightly around Kurt's waist, pulling him down for a heated kiss.

They both pulled away after a while, gasping for air as Kurt began to slide in slowly. Blaine's breath hitched, taking Kurt so well, biting his lip until Kurt was fully sheathed, hips pressing against Blaine's spread ass cheeks. They stayed like that for a few moments, just breathing.

Kurt pressed his sweaty forehead to Blaine's.

"So _tight_ ," he whimpered.

Blaine fisted one hand into the sheets, and the other squeezed Kurt's hip. "C'mon, _move_."

Kurt obliged, pulling all the way out to the tip, and then snapped his hips forward, eliciting loud groans from both of them.

" _Yes_ ," Blaine whined, throwing his head back against the pillow. The veins in his neck popped out, and Kurt acted on impulse, biting him there until it colored.

As Kurt picked up his pace, Blaine's grip on him was nearly painful. Kurt knew there would be bruising, but he didn't care. He just wanted more. He wanted it faster. He wanted it hotter, tighter. The only sound in the room besides their exclamations of pleasure was the delightful slapping of wet skin against skin.

Before no time, Kurt was slamming into Blaine, causing the bed to shake and creak with each thrust. He watched as Blaine's flushed red cock bob between them and slap wetly against his stomach. At one point, balls deep, Kurt grabbed Blaine's muscular thighs and pushed them up his chest, grinding himself in as far as possible.

Blaine cried out, and Kurt knew he was on the right track. He took one of Blaine's legs from around his waist and placed it on his own shoulder, testing Blaine's flexibility.

It was not in vain, because this new advantageous angle had Kurt brushing against Blaine's prostate with each thrust in.

"So fucking _good_ ," Kurt ground out before he was coming deeply into Blaine's ass. His hips stuttered, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head from the force of his incredible orgasm.

Once he had come down from Cloud 9, hoping that Blaine had joined him to in hot heaven, he slipped out, pulling the condom off as he gently pushed Blaine's leg off his shoulder. They both stretched, now incredibly sore.

"Kurt," Blaine whispered affectionately, making grabbing hands. Kurt got the hint, and with shaky limbs leaned down to kiss Blaine slowly. Their tongues slid together smoothly, lips moving together in perfect synchronization.

Fatigue settling in, Kurt finally collapsed onto Blaine's sweaty chest, huffing out the deep breath he was holding. However, a moment later Kurt jerked his head up in surprise. Blaine was still completely hard between them, dick pressing insistently against Kurt's stomach.

"I didn't make you go?" Kurt inquired, shocked.

Blaine laughed quietly. "What can I say, I have a stallion's stamina."

Kurt couldn't tell if he either felt a blow to his ego, guilty for not getting Blaine off, or thankful that he wasn't with a boy who came right on the get go.

"Here, let me get you," Kurt insisted, attempting to sit up from his position against Blaine's chest.

Blaine pressed on Kurt's back, not letting him get up. "No, I'm okay, really."

"But-"

"Kurt, that was the most amazing fuck ever," Blaine sighed happily. "Rest a little, I'm already ridiculously lucky, let me bask in it."

Kurt really didn't know what to say. He had never met anyone so patient for their orgasm, but also so thankful to be fucked thoroughly by him.

Kurt got up on his elbows, kissing Blaine softly. Blaine cupped his face, and when they pulled back, they stared intensely at each other.

Even in the dark bedroom, Kurt could could see Blaine's sparking eyes never wavering, just looking intently back. He stroked Kurt's cheek, rubbed his shoulder blades. Kurt couldn't look away. It was like a gravitational pull was keeping him there, something so otherworldly that he had never experienced before. He allowed his fingers to brush lightly through Blaine's soft chest hair.

And just like that, without thought or reason, Kurt's carefully built walls crashed around him. For the first time in his life he was stripped bare in front of another person, but Blaine still didn't look away. In fact, Blaine saw this change in Kurt and his eyes widened.

In that moment, Kurt knew that he had finally done something right. He felt so vulnerable, that any prick to his skin would sear deep. However, he wanted Blaine to see everything. He wanted to give everything to Blaine. He wanted to share his life with Blaine.

This overwhelming epiphany brought tears to Kurt's eyes. And the next thing that came out of Kurt's mouth, he couldn't filter. This was exactly what he felt. He was so honest, raw and true that it made the whole world disappear except for them.

"I think I'm falling for you."

The words floated around them. Blaine inhaled deeply, his eyes suddenly glassy.

"Oh, Kurt." Blaine's voice was full of pure emotion. When he blinked, a few tears escaped. Kurt's tears followed suit down his nose, and dripped onto Blaine's cheek.

"Blaine, make love to me."

Blaine's mouth opened in surprise. He was completely at loss of words.

Kurt pressed the bottle of lube insistently in his hand after blindingly reaching for it. "Blaine, please." His voice was barely above a whisper.

Blaine sniffled and nodded, letting Kurt squirt lube onto his fingers. He stretched his neck up to kiss Kurt as his hand reached around, and dipped between Kurt's ass cheeks.

He circled Kurt's tight, hot entrance before sliding his fingers in, preparing Kurt slowly and carefully. Blaine took his time, wanting to concentrate on kissing him romantically while his other hand cupped him securely.

Once Kurt was sufficiently ready, Blaine asked, "Condom?"

Kurt didn't move to grab another one from the pillow. He leaned down and started kissing Blaine's neck affectionately.

"Is it okay if you don't use one," he whispered shakily in Blaine's ear. Blaine nodded, swallowing the lump of emotion in his throat.

Blaine understood. Kurt wanted this to be symbolic of giving himself wholly and completely to Blaine. They had barriers between them for weeks, but now, in this perfect, beautiful moment, Kurt didn't want any at all.

This was going to be real. Face to face and utterly trusting.

Kurt straddled Blaine's hips, grabbing the base of Blaine's cock, lathering him up with lube before easing himself down.

Kurt leaned forward onto his forearms so he could look into Blaine's eyes and kiss him whenever he wanted to. Blaine bent his knees so the front of his thighs would cradle Kurt's bottom with each thrust.

Blaine stroked Kurt's hair as they panted into each other's mouths, breathing each other's air. Blaine fucked into Kurt slowly, pulling his body as close as he could, relishing at the feel of their naked bodies being one.

Kurt's knees tightened against Blaine's sides as they picked up the pace, Kurt rocking on top of him. Kurt let his head fall into the crook of Blaine's neck, feeling tears prickle at his eyeballs because this was just so much. It was like all of what they were feeling was coming out of their pores and floating into the air between them. So full of meaning, and very powerful.

Kurt felt his heart pump irregularly against Blaine's. Every inch his body was being touched by Blaine, and he wouldn't wish it any other way. Kurt didn't want to back up to pump himself to orgasm, because that would mean less direct contact.

Blaine came, and the noise that erupted from his mouth was the most beautiful thing Kurt heard in his life.

Kurt's cock slid against Blaine's slippery stomach a few times as he rutted up and down before he toppled over the edge once more. Kurt was instantly aware that this orgasm was different from all the rest he had ever experienced. Along with sparks of pleasure through his nerves, a gorgeous warmth swept through his veins and to his chest, which he felt like was bursting at the seams.

Kurt moaned and cried, feeling words flooding to his throat, but he couldn't say them. The world turned white, and then he floated back, feeling Blaine heaving against him.

"I've never felt like this before," Blaine said. "I can't even explain it."

Kurt could tell Blaine was crying too, and it was okay. Because Blaine knew what Kurt wanted to say without saying them. They were feeling the exact same thing. It was the most remarkable thing in the world.

Blaine stayed inside of Kurt, despite the mess dribbling out. They held onto each other desperately, letting their feelings explode around them.

As they kissed, they could taste the salt of their happy tears. They touched each other all over, making sure the other was real. Eventually their desperation turned to bliss, and they drifted off to sleep.

Since the death of his father, Kurt finally didn't feel like was all alone.


	8. Bliss

_It was pouring. The flowers on the casket drooped, the priest's holy book was soaked. Kurt didn't even bother with an umbrella. It didn't matter, nothing did. His feet were excruciatingly tired, but it paled in comparison to the pain in his chest._

_Kurt kept his hand on the casket the whole time, ignoring everyone and everything around him. He didn't even care that his hair was ruined. His life was over. His father was gone. He thought losing his mother was the worst thing to ever happen to him, but his father was at least there. To hold his hand. But now nobody was there. He fisted his empty, freezing hand into a tight fist. Any one of his friends could hold his hand right now, but it wouldn't make any difference._

_Kurt bit his lip to stifle his sobs. He rubbed the casket, as if willing his father's lifeless body to be warm._

_"Dad, I don't know what I'm going to do without you," he whispered under his breath, squeezing his eyes shut._

_The freezing rain whipped him in the face in response._

_"Why do things like this have to happen?" Kurt cursed nobody in particular, and started to openly sob. All the mourners clad in black did nothing to comfort him._

_Then, there was a slight change in atmosphere. Kurt felt a blazingly warm hand slip into his._

_"Kurt, it's okay, I'm here," the voice echoed around him._

_Kurt looked up. It was Blaine. He looked slightly translucent, or like there were sparkles coming from under his skin. He was positively glowing, making Kurt squint._

_"But how?" Kurt asked in wonder._

_Blaine shook his head beautifully. "You don't need to ask those sorts of questions, just know you're not alone."_

_Kurt straightened up and embraced the ethereal Blaine. And just like that, his whole body flooded with warmth, and the pain numbed until it was completely non-existent._

***

Kurt came to himself and suddenly opened his eyes. Everything seemed more crisp and clear as he looked around his bedroom, eventually resting on Blaine's sleeping form. All the emotions from the previous night swept back into him, almost knocking the wind out of him. It filled him up and radiated from his chest. Kurt was exposed, and his emotions and senses were increased tenfold.

Kurt's exposed skin was cold because Blaine was hogging the blankets, but Kurt didn't have the heart to take them back. Blaine looked so precious and innocent, snoozing softly.

He looked so comfortable and _happy_ above all. Kurt hoped he looked like that too.

A few early birds chirped outside. Kurt lifted a hand to push curls off of Blaine's forehead, smiling to himself. Blaine's head was cradled in his arms as he lay on his stomach, the sheets falling off the swell of his buttocks. He had the blankets bunched up in his fist under his chin.

He looked so beautiful, and it made Kurt's heart clench. He couldn't believe his good fortune. Kurt's hand ghosted over the dimples on Blaine's lower black, up to the smooth muscular planes of his shoulders.

Blaine stirred, peeking through one his his eyelids and sighed happily.

"Now who's the one watching people sleep," he joked, voice scratchy from sleep.

Kurt's heart warmed knowing that Blaine liked what Kurt was doing, but he felt the need to explain himself.

"You look so beautiful," Kurt whispered, not wanting to let go of the moment. "I'm hoping you are real, and this isn't all just a dream."

Blaine's eyes opened fully to peer at Kurt, eyes shining with emotion.

"Every time I look at your face Kurt, I hope this will never go away."

Kurt blinked and a small tear escaped down his cheek. Blaine's thumb brushed it away.

"Come here, let's lay in bed all day and never let go of each other," Blaine said, turning on his side and opening his arms for Kurt to take his place there.

Kurt hooked his leg over Blaine's and slid into his arms. They fit like a perfect puzzle piece. The embrace was so perfect. Everything about this felt so right.

Neither of them could tell how much time went by with them just staring deeply and meaningfully into each other's faces while holding each other close. The events of last night would occasionally flash behind their eyes, making them smile sheepishly and blush, but then want to shed happy tears and whisper sweet nothings.

Kurt had never made love before. Sex has always been purely instinctual, animalistic and nothing more than fucking for him. But last night was his first time actually making love, and he still couldn't believe that something so beautiful could be made between two people. Kurt was moved to his core.

After not feeling for so long, these emotions were utterly overwhelming. Tears would sting his eyes every few seconds, so he would have to take deep shaking breaths to calm himself down.

Blaine eventually cupped Kurt's jaw, swallowing visibly from nerves.

"I'm falling for you too," he said softly, looking searchingly into Kurt's eyes.

"What?" Kurt asked shocked, because they hadn't spoken for the longest time.

"When you told me you were falling for me last night, I never said it back," he informed with a small smile. "I just wanted you to know that the feeling is mutual."

"Oh," Kurt said, realization dawning on him, wonderful memories flooding his consciousness. "I didn't really notice, I just already knew I suppose."

Blaine's hand tangled in Kurt's thick locks. "I'm so happy to hear you say that, Kurt."

A faint blush colored Kurt's cheeks, and Blaine couldn't resist leaning in and kissing the warm flesh. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's torso and pulled him closer until there was absolutely no space between them at all.

Both of them hitched their breath at the sensation of their already hard cocks bumping together. Blaine burrowed his face into Kurt's neck, running his hands over the pale expanse of smooth, glorious skin. Kurt's natural scent washed over him, making him impossibly incensed with arousal.

Blaine slid his leg in between Kurt's thighs, eliciting quiet moans as their scratchy skin rubbed together. Kurt arched his back, pressing his hips forward to rub their cocks together-

Without warning, Rachel stormed in without a passing glance, with a large laundry basket tucked under her arm.

"Not again," she groaned. "We all had to wear earplugs last night because of the noise you two were making."

Blaine scrambled to cover himself with the sheets that were in disarray.

"Rachel what the hell," Kurt screeched. "You can't just barge into my room!"

"I need your dirty laundry," she states matter-of-factly. "Because I'm nice enough to do our clothes in the same load and save us some money."

"In the bathroom," Kurt said through gritted teeth. As much as he loved Rachel, she really could be a bitch if she wanted to be.

She collected his clothes from the bathroom and then peeked under his desk to see if she missed any loan socks. "We're all going out for breakfast, so I'd recommend you two get dressed within the next half-hour." 

And with that she left.

Kurt and Blaine looked at each other briefly with hidden smiles before attacking each other and kissing joyously. A quickie before the outing was in order, and fuck it if the others heard the encore consummation of their love.

The weekend went by quickly, and before they all knew it, they were bidding the Lima gang off at the airport at the dawn of the next week.

When Finn hugged Kurt goodbye, he held him close to whisper into his ear, "Kurt, I'm so happy you've found someone finally; you really deserve it."

Kurt didn't want to embarrassingly break into tears in the middle of crowded JFK International, so he swallowed the lump of emotion and just nodded, squeezing Finn's hand as they let go of each other.

Kurt hugged the boys and kissed all the girls on the cheek. Kurt would miss them, but he reminded them that he and Rachel were going to come home for the holidays.

When final call came for boarding, Karofsky went up to Kurt and held out a hand awkwardly to shake.

Kurt scoffed, shaking his head. "Come here," he said as he held out his arms for a hug.

Karfosky embraced him briefly, lifting Kurt slightly before backing up with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry again for that first night, I was stupid-"

Kurt put up a hand to silence him. "Don't be. It's all the in past. You're my friend, and I will always forgive you." Kurt smiled genuinely.

Kafosky broke out into a huge grin that crinkled his eyes. It warmed Kurt's heart.

"You're different Kurt," he commented. "It's because of him, I know."

Kurt's face burned a little at his words, trying not to smile.

"It's nice to see. But if he breaks your heart, I'm going to break his fucking face, got it? I will always be there for you, Kurt. Just know that."

Kurt took his hand and squeezed it. "Thank you, Dave. It means a lot."

Puck ushered him away with the rest of the group, as they all called out last goodbyes and waved. Blaine came over and put his arm around Kurt's waist.

"I really like your friends, I hope I get to see them soon."

"Maybe you will," Kurt said without thinking. "Maybe you could come with us back to Ohio for Christmas and you can meet the rest of my family."

When Kurt realized what he said, he looked at Blaine wide-eyed and terrified. Blaine looked shocked. Kurt sputtered nonsense.

"I'm sorry, it was too soon-"

"I'd love to," Blaine interjected with a warm smile. His hazel eyes looked like liquid emotion, and they seeped into Kurt, making him feel secure and blissfully happy.

*** 

Weeks flew by, and before Kurt knew it, it was nearing the end of November. They had already purchased their plane tickets to Columbus, and planned on leaving a week before the holiday.

Blaine decided to have Rachel, Kurt, several fellow friends from NYADA, and a few of his coworkers over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Kurt offered to help with the cooking festivities, but Blaine insisted that he wanted to do it all himself.

"I want this to be special for you, Kurt. I'm so thankful that you are in my life, and I know how you like home-cooked meals," he said.

Kurt arrived at 7:00, before everyone else while Rachel went to pick up their NYADA buddies. Blaine's apartment was toasty warm and smelled absolutely delicious.

Kurt made his way into the kitchen, hanging his fuzzy-hooded winter jacket over the back of a chair. Blaine had noticed that Kurt was starting to vary his wardrobe lately. It was nice to see him in things other than a leather jacket and ripped jeans. Tonight Kurt was wearing a clingy, dark green turtle neck and tight black jeans.

"Smells amazing, it's making my mouth water," Kurt complimented, winking at Blaine who was wearing a pink apron over his dress shirt and slacks.

"You make my mouth water," Blaine returned cheekily, pulling Kurt by the waist in for a kiss. "Mmmm..."

Kurt playfully smacked him. "Oh, you stop it. That's the cheesiest thing I've ever heard."

Blaine grinned dopily. "You love it."

Kurt felt his neck and ears heat up. "I do." 

Kurt's stomach flooded with butterflies when he looked deep into Blaine's eyes. He wasn't really sure if he could get used to that.

Blaine returned to his cooking, humming cheerfully to himself. Kurt watched him, daydreaming about living with Blaine one day, and how they could do daily domestics together and have sex on the kitchen counter.

Kurt had been mulling over for a few days now to finally tell Blaine he thinks he might be in love with him, but he was too terrified to say the actual words. There were times when they would make love and hold each other in the dark, and those three little words would hang in the air around them, but neither said anything. They would just breath and kiss and make love some more.

Kurt's heart ached so much. He wanted to tell Blaine so bad, but he was afraid of the consequences. Maybe they weren't ready. Maybe Blaine didn't love him back just yet, and it would be too soon. So Kurt waited. He wanted Blaine to say it first, and he wanted it to be the most romantic thing in the world.

Blaine turned to smile at Kurt, stirring mashed potatoes, and his heart sped up. Kurt knew that his old self would probably slap him in the face if he knew how sappy he was being right now, but since that fateful night, the flood gates were open. Kurt felt everything all the time, and he wanted to feel it all with Blaine.

Kurt helped Blaine set up before the rest of the guests arrived, and even assisted Blaine to cut the turkey. You would think it would be a mundane or even gross task, but licking the butter and seasoning off each other's fingers and holding the knife with intertwined hands was strangely intimate.

Once everyone was there, mumbling to each other around the table, the clanging of silverware and telling stories, Blaine lit some candles and dimmed the lights. They were all settled, now.

Blaine sat down at the head of the table. "Thanks for coming everyone, I am very thankful that I moved to New York and met you all. You guys are great friends, and I wouldn't trade you for the world."

Blaine lifted his wine glass and clinked it against everyone else's for a toast. Kurt kissed Blaine's knuckles before they dug into their glorious meal. However, the doorbell rang.

"Who's that?" Rachel asked.

"I'm not sure," Blaine trailed off, looking confused. He took the napkin out of his collar and set it on his chair. "Let me go find out."

Blaine unlocked his door and pulled it open. Kurt leaned back in his chair to see who it was. All Kurt could see was Blaine, dumbfounded his mouth hanging open.

"Sebastian?"


	9. Uninvited Houseguest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry

Kurt's heart stopped.

He wasn't sure if he heard right, but Kurt knew deep in his gut if it really was Sebastian, Blaine's ex, something was very wrong. Kurt's vision became a black tunnel of despair until Rachel snapped him out of it. He shook his head but it still took him several moments to scramble out of his chair.

Kurt made his way to the threshold to see that Blaine was still standing there gaping, gripping the doorframe until his knuckles were white. Kurt forced himself to look at the doorway, and it was like he was launched into his memories.

 _Sebastian_.

When Kurt blinked he saw a cherub-faced boy wearing a Dalton uniform, eyes shining with young love. But today he was wearing a long grey peacoat and his hair was speckled with the light snow that was falling outside. He looked disheveled, like a man who carried a great burden. He had a several day old scruff and looked at Blaine with a sense of lost longing.

Kurt recognized him instantly. He was the sandy haired boy with green eyes that Kurt saw Blaine embrace and kiss on stage all those years ago. He turned his piercing eyes in Kurt's direction.

"Who is this," he asked possessively.

"My boyfriend," Blaine responded without hesitation.

Sebastian laughed harshly, without humor. "You're so fucking typical, Blaine. You're too afraid of being alone, so you run off to find the next person who would be willing to actually be with you."

Kurt gritted his teeth as a flash of anger flared through him. He launched himself forward, but Blaine held him back.

"Feisty, I like-"

"Sebastian, you have to leave. We're having a nice dinner, and I don't know why you are here, but you are not welcome," Blaine said anxiously.

Kurt didn't understand it. Blaine should sound uncaring or at least angry. Why would he be anxious? With a horrible jolt he realized that Sebastian was with Blaine a long time. If he was emotionally abusive, his hooks were probably in really deep. Kurt took a really good look at Blaine in that moment.

All this time Kurt felt like the damaged one. Like he was the one who needed fixing. Blaine was painted as the perfect, pure savior there to sweep Kurt off his feet and save him. These past couple months were pure bliss, but Blaine clearly hid his past demons and insecurities. And it did it very well, except when the cause of all these problems was standing right in front of them; they come crashing back. Kurt knew all too well.

"Yes, you need to leave," Kurt said lowly, as if he was daring Sebastian to challenge him.

Sebastian rolled his tongue over his teeth, leaning casually on the door frame, eyes darting between Kurt and Blaine.

"I'll tell you why I'm here, because I assure you I wouldn't have wasted money to deal with all this shit, but being a father always comes first for me," Sebastian said quietly, turning to Blaine. "Mikey needs you."

Blaine's froze, his face becoming very grave. Kurt squeezed his forearm to get Blaine to look at him, but his eyes were off in another world. Kurt glared at Sebastian.

"Who's-?"

Sebastian smiled smugly. "Oh, so you didn't tell your pretty little boyfriend, did you Blaine? Figures. I didn't think you would, you were always a terrible father to him."

Kurt suddenly felt like he weighed a thousand pounds, rooted to the floor with tunnel vision again. Did that mean what it sounded like?

"Blaine, what he is saying?" Kurt could barely hear himself; he was so lost in the tunnel. The tunnel of pain. Heartbreak. Reality. Lies.

Blaine unfroze and turned to Kurt, all the joy from earlier completely gone. Kurt almost cringed away at the broken man that Blaine had suddenly become.

"We have an adopted son together," Blaine admitted, hanging his head ashamed of himself.

"Yeah, a son you ditched to live your dream in New York like an irresponsible prick," Sebastian spat.

All the pain suddenly turned to rage, and Kurt saw red. It built up beyond his control and unleashed itself with a powerful right hook to Sebastian's face.

Sebastian flew to the floor, grabbing his jaw and howling in pain. Kurt stood over him, shaking from head to toe with pure, fiery anger.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING SPEAK TO HIM LIKE THAT," Kurt screamed, his teeth bared.

Blaine had never seen Kurt like this, and to be honest, it was utterly terrifying. He reached for Kurt but decided against it.

Sebastian wiped blood from his lip. "You're standing up for a guy who has lied to you about something so huge," he inquired maliciously. "He was probably just using you for something warm to soothe his guilty conscience at night."

Kurt positively snarled, fisting the front of Sebastian's shirt, ready to beat him to a pulp. Blaine saw the fire in Kurt's eyes and grabbed his wrist.

"Kurt don't, please stop," Blaine said weakly. Kurt saw that he was still the crumbling man, and just like that, the rage dissipated. He backed away from Sebastian, who struggled to his feet. Sebastian dusted himself off and then grabbed Blaine's shoulders to looked him in the eye.

"Social services found out that we broke up, Blaine. They are going to take Mikey away from me if you don't come home," his voice broke, and Kurt finally saw that he was at least a little human. "We have legal papers, a responsibility to him and he's more important than anyone else in the world to me. We can work things out Blaine, just please. You need to come home."

It was like in slow motion, but Kurt saw it. A shadow passed over Blaine's eyes that plunged Kurt back into that memory again. For a brief moment Blaine looked back into Sebastian's eyes with as much mirrored desperation of starving love as the day they tied with New Directions to go onto Regionals.

Although it was still a shadow of its former self, Blaine still felt something for Sebastian, and Kurt could see that now. That's why Blaine never talked about him. They were tied by a little boy back in Ohio who needed both his parents in his life. That little string holding them together would have to be enough for the sake of the child.

All these realizations crashed down around Kurt with resounding force, ripping a hole right through his chest. However fleeting, Kurt had now lost the most beautiful and wonderful thing in his life, and he couldn't bear the pain. He couldn't lose Blaine, but he had to. He couldn't take it, so he only had one choice left. He had to be numb. It would be so much better than onslaught.

Kurt had seen enough. He turned away, leaving them to grab his coat. He had to get out of here. He needed to be anywhere but here. He wished he could have a motorcycle so he could just speed away, leaving all his thoughts, feelings and emotions behind in his wake.

"Kurt? Kurt, what's wrong," Rachel went to him, forgetting her meal. All their friends and acquaintances were dead silent. It was no doubt they abandoned eating once they heard what went down. Kurt forgot they were there. But it didn't matter. He needed to go, _now_.

"Leave me alone," Kurt said emotionlessly, twisting out of her grasp. "I'll be going. You guys finish eating here."

Once he was sure he had all his items, he shrugged past Rachel who was just staring at him, her eyes glassy because she knew what was happening. She had seen Kurt like this before, after his father's funeral. He had been out of reach and inconsolable for the longest time. She didn't want her friend to go through that again. But she let him go. She knew there was nothing she could do right then.

"... If you won't come with me to the hotel now, I'll come get you later, and have all your things ready to go."

Sebastian and Blaine came within earshot again as Kurt made his way to the door. "Move aside please," Kurt said dryly.

"Kurt, he was just leaving, you don't need to go," Blaine sounded panicked, trying to grab for Kurt's hand. Kurt dodged him, shoving by Sebastian to get into the hallway.

"Actually, I really do. It was nice knowing you, Blaine. Good luck with your kid. That's where you belong." And with that Kurt strode down the hallway toward the elevator without a backward glance.

"Kurt!" Blaine yelled. "Kurt! Don't go!"

Kurt waved dismissively over his shoulder. Blaine jogged to him, and Sebastian just watched.

"Kurt! I'll come by your apartment in an hour, okay? Please be there," Blaine begged, breathing heavily a foot away from Kurt, who wouldn't look at him.

"Whatever," Kurt shrugged non-committally. The elevator binged, and he strode in. As the doors closed, Kurt took in Blaine's heartbroken face, and it took all he had in him not to collapse in a pathetic heap on the elevator ride down.

An hour later, right down to the second Blaine barged through Kurt and Rachel's apartment door after knocking had proven unsuccessful.

Blaine found Kurt on the balcony, smoking. He was looking up at the stars, his cheeks and ears flushed from the cold.

"How'd you get home? Rachel was so worried," Blaine asked, breathless.

"I walked," Kurt said simply, taking a long burning drag.

"Kurt, I'm sorry I never told you about Mikey, I really should have. But I really just wanted to forget my old life. I thought it was too toxic."

Kurt flicked his cigarette out into the night. "It's fine, what's done is done."

Blaine halted, confused. "Wait what?"

"Go back to Ohio, you're needed there. Sebastian was right, you have a responsibility to that child."

Blaine looked like he was punched in the gut. "You wouldn't care if I left? I thought we were going to talk about this."

Kurt pushed past Blaine to get back into his warm apartment. "There's nothing to discuss."

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows. "Of course there is! You're my boyfriend!"

Kurt plopped on the couch, picking up a stale beer but drinking it anyway. "Was I really," he asked offhandedly.

"Of course you were!" Blaine sounded dejected.

Kurt crossed his legs, fiddling with the wrapping around the beer, still not looking directly at Blaine.

"It's fine, Blaine. You can be honest with me. You never really cared about me; you just used me as a distraction. It's not like it's the first time. I'm not personally offended or anything."

Blaine was rendered speechless. He felt like he was thrust into a horrible nightmare. This wasn't the Kurt from earlier at all. That Kurt from earlier seemed like a fond, but very distant memory. Or like a memory that never actually happened. The reality of the situation caused Blaine's heart to break.

"Oh right, you need your things," Kurt got up and glanced at the clock. "I assume Sebastian will be picking you up soon?"

Blaine grabbed him by the shoulders and forced Kurt to finally look at him.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel anything. All we've accomplished. All we've been through these past few months. Was that just nothing to you?"

Kurt looked back into those burning hazel eyes. Kurt wanted to say "yes" just to get it over with so he could move on, but some force stopped him from doing so. Instead, his throat closed up, and those eyes once again broke his resolve. This was real. This was happening. Kurt was suddenly feeling everything again, and it was just too much. He was compelled to say the truth.

"It meant the world to me," Kurt choked. "But it clearly meant nothing to you."

Kurt broke away and stormed into his room.

"That is a lie!" Blaine protested, his heart shattering in his chest as he chased after Kurt. "Sebastian's got into your head, but you can't believe him, after all we've been through!"

"He knows you better than anyone else; who am I supposed to trust?" Kurt snapped, eyes glassy with angry tears threatening to fall.

"Kurt, stop this, I beg you to see reason," Blaine was getting desperate. He was so scared. The thought of losing Kurt made him feel empty.

"I was just a fucking charity project to you," Kurt screamed, eyes were streaming with tears now. "Nothing else!"

"Kurt, that's not true," Blaine pleaded. "What we have is real between us, you know that!"

Kurt was shoving Blaine's things into a bag haphazardly, having a difficult time seeing through his blurry vision. Tears and snot were flowing down his face. "It was all just a fucking lie; I can't believe I fell for it!"

Blaine made to grab Kurt, to stop him from doing this. But Kurt shoved him off.

"Fuck you," Kurt's voice dripped like acid. "Just get the fuck out; I don't ever want to see you again, alright?"

Blaine started to break down; he couldn't believe this was happening. Kurt was worse than before, his walls iron-clad.

Blaine banged his head against the door frame, weeping. "Please don't do this, Kurt." His voice was completely wrecked with tragedy.

If Kurt still had a heart, it would have broken into a million pieces right then. However, he threw Blaine's duffle bag on the floor.

"Don't keep your precious Sebastian waiting."

Kurt's voice was monotone, dead. And that was the worst thing of all. Blaine had not only failed Kurt, but himself too. There was nothing he could to do fix this, and this only made him cry harder.

Blaine couldn't remember walking out of Kurt's apartment or if he even said goodbye. He hoped he didn't, because it just couldn't be goodbye. This wasn't forever, so maybe he could hold onto that.

Sebastian was leaning against a waiting cab outside Kurt's building. "Took you long enough."

Blaine dragged himself, his whole being unwilling to leave Kurt. He wanted to run back, sweep Kurt up in his arms and tell him that he loved him and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. But he couldn't. Blaine had to go back to Ohio. It was the right thing to do.

Blaine found himself sitting the cab as Sebastian threw the duffle bag in between them. Blaine opened it, and Sebastian peered inside. "That change of clothes should be sufficient enough to last you until the meeting with the adoption agency."

Blaine ignored him as he pulled out a small rectangular piece of paper. It was the airline ticket Kurt bought him. It was leaving on December 12th at 6:05am departing to Columbus. He was going to meet the rest of Kurt's family and spend Christmas with them. Blaine's hand shook.

Sebastian leaned over and read the ticket. "Oh perfect, we can just catch a red-eye now, and after our appointment, you can come back here and get the rest of your things, then just use that ticket to come home. How convenient."

Blaine's head fell to his palms as he started heaving sobs of pure loss and agony. _Kurt_.


	10. Kurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> note: this chapter contains Kurt's dealing with the initial break-up, contains some Kurtofsky

"Kurt? Kurt!" Rachel's voice was penetrating his deep haze of thought, a certain voice echoing through his mind.

"What?" He snapped, extremely irritated.

"Well do you want to miss the plane, because I sure don't! Hurry up, last call for boarding!"

Kurt grumbled, lugging his huge carry-on bag and following her down the ramp. If he was going to be honest with himself, he was terrified and anxious of going back home. His brother and Carol were probably going to ask him about Blaine and why he wasn't there with him. Kurt didn't have the heart to tell them about it on the phone...

Kurt pushed those thoughts out of his mind, feeling the pain in his chest settle in for its beginning stage of torture. That wasn't something he could deal with at that moment.

Kurt and Rachel found their seats, stored away their things into the overhead compartments and collapsed, exhausted from their agonizing drive.

"I need a cigarette," Kurt huffed, stretching in his uncomfortably small chair.

"No you don't, just order booze when the stewardess asks," Rachel scolded. She still hated the fact that Kurt smoked, even if it was on rare occasion. But then again, he had been doing it a lot more lately, she noticed.

Kurt saw she went a little stiff, looking like she was about to say something.

"So have you heard from-"

"No," Kurt cut in sharply, knowing exactly where this conversation was headed. She never breached the subject since it happened, but Kurt knew her all to well. She only had so much patience. "So, how about we don't bring that up?"

"But, Kurt-"

"New subject."

"No," she insisted, lowering her voice. "I had never seen you so broken since Burt died. And even worse, I've never heard you cry so hard before. I'm worried about you."

"Well don't be," he said in a tone of finality.

Rachel looked like she was going to argue, but then she just turned over to lean against the window looking at their surroundings before take-off. Kurt was thankful that she got the hint.

Kurt felt really bad. He knew that she was just trying to help, but it just hurt too much to talk about it, or even think about it for more than a few seconds. He knew he wasn't fooling anyone, though. Rachel knew exactly how bad Kurt was suffering, but he wasn't letting anyone in to alleviate any of it.

Kurt gulped while getting a flashback of last night. The particularly bad nightmares were starting again. No matter what they were about, Kurt would wake up biting a pillow to keep from sobbing or screaming. He remembered one night he woke up to Rachel holding him tightly as tears streamed down his face. It only made him feel worse because it reminded him of Blaine holding him during those few times he was feeling vulnerable. He almost found himself wishing she were Blaine when she kissed his hair and whispered consolingly in his ear.

Blaine. BlaineBlaineBlaineBlaine. Kurt's mind repeated it over and over again. Blaine's voice would echo in his mind sometimes, or his charming smile flash behind his eyes, or Kurt could almost feel the soft touch of his fingertips when would close his eyes for long enough, wishing. Kurt missed Blaine so much that it seared fiery hot then cold. It left a hollow place, and Kurt wasn't sure if he could ever open up to anyone like he did with Blaine again. By extension, it made Kurt miss his father even more. He just wanted someone to tell him that it was okay, and would erase all the bad feelings and problems in the world.

When Blaine left his apartment Thanksgiving Day, Kurt had never cried for so long or so hard in his entire life. Even when his dad died. Kurt sank to the floor, clutching himself like support and heaved, sobbed and wept and hyperventilated. He was probably never going to see Blaine again. He was desperately, atrociously in love with this man, and before their relationship could even really begin it was ripped away. Kurt cried long after he was out of tears. It felt like an eternity. It was when he couldn't breathe anymore, he finally passed out on the floor for many hours reprieve.

When he woke up that next morning, after expressing so much loss and agony, Kurt felt raw. The reality of what had happened sunk in completely, and Kurt realized he needed to move on and get better. He knew this was the hardest step to recovery.

Kurt went to school those next few weeks and hid everything. He put on fake smiles, and carefully built back up his safe walls of insecurity and cautiousness. He started drinking and smoking more to cope with pangs of loneliness he would get sometimes. At that point, Rachel forced him to go out more with their friends. They helped, Kurt realized. A little. It was better than nothing.

Kurt was suddenly woken up by the static of the intercom claiming that they were descending into Columbus airport, and to put their seats back into upright position.

"Clear skies with a high of 42 degrees this evening..."

Kurt wiped the drool off his chin. "That was really fast," he mumbled tiredly, gazing bleary-eyed at Rachel, who was in a much similar state.

"I'guess we were tired," she yawned while rubbing her eyes. "I just want to go to bed now, these seats suck."

Once they collected their things at baggage claim, they made their way to 'pick-up' to see if their parents were there yet to whisk them home.

Rachel was swept up into Finn's arms while Carole embraced Kurt.

"Where's your friend, Blaine?" she asked, looking around.

Kurt's heart twitched. "He couldn't make it," he murmured darkly, feeling his throat go tight.

She lead him to the car, letting Finn and Rachel have their moment before Rachel's Dads took her home. "Well, that's too bad. Your friends are so eager to see you guys again! They told me all about how wonderful New York was."

"Great," Kurt said half-heartedly. He wasn't sure he could face them just yet. "Tomorrow? I'm really tired."

"Of course, dear," she said affectionally, squeezing his shoulder. "You should really wear a warmer jacket, leather is cold if there's no lining."

The ride to Lima was quiet. Although Kurt slept on the plane, his eyes twinged with tiredness, but the smell of the car was making him nauseous, so he couldn't fall asleep.

It was nearly dusk when they pulled up the Hummel-Hudson residence. All was quiet.

"Kurt, your bed is made in the guest room," she informed, kissing him on the cheek goodnight. Finn hugged him and said that they would 'hang out tomorrow.'

Kurt lied down in the dark, too exhausted from the day to unpack his things or even change into pajamas. He curled up under the covers, feeling his legs twitch every so often from fatigue. His mind was buzzing for a while, but eventually he started drifting off. That was until he heard a rap on the window.

Kurt's eyes flew open, his parasympathetic nervous system kicking in. There was another pang. Kurt got up, heart beating quickly and peeked through the curtains. To his relief he saw it was Karofsky being such cliche, throwing pebbles to get Kurt's attention.

Kurt unlatched the window, peering out into the night.

"What are you doing," he whispered loud enough for Karofsky to hear.

"I'm here to see you; didn't want to ring the doorbell," he called back quietly.

"It's not even that late, Dave."

"I know," he hesitated. "But I really needed to see you ASAP. I talked to Santana."

Kurt didn't need to hear anymore. He beckoned Karofsky, who clambered in quite easily since the guest room was on the bottom floor. Kurt closed the curtains, and turned to face Dave, who took a spot on the bed.

Kurt crossed his arms and waited.

"So," Karofsky began. "Santana told me that Blaine left you or whatever."

Kurt shrugged, feeling his eyes prickle with tears. If it was the last thing he would ever do, he would not cry in front of Karofsky.

"Where's he live? I promised you that if he hurt you, I'd kick his ass."

"Not necessary," Kurt said shortly, really wanting to not talk about this. 

Why wouldn't anyone leave him alone? Now Kurt just wanted Karofsky to leave, extremely uncomfortable with the company and the subject.

"Look, I'm really tired, can we talk tomorrow?" Kurt almost begged.

Karofsky took his hand. "I know you, Kurt. You are really hurting. I'm here if you need to talk about it."

Kurt cleared his throat, still avoiding his gaze. "Well, I'm fine. Really."

"No, you're not," his thumb was stroking Kurt's knuckles. "I saw the way you were with him."

Kurt couldn't bring himself to lie again, so he just remained silent, trying his best not to let tears spring free, fighting the huge lump in his throat.

After a long while, Karofsky finally spoke up. "Well if you aren't going to talk, you have two options." 

Kurt rose an eyebrow, slightly interested. "I can just leave, and me as well as the rest of the gang will bombard you will affection and questions tomorrow, or.. you can let me cheer you up now."

"How so?"

And before Kurt even finished his question, he had a feeling that was proven to be right because Karofsky started to lean in. Kurt squeezed his eyes shut, haunted by that old memory of his first kiss, body tensed up from revulsion.

But when Karofsky's lips touched his this time, it was gentle. It was the opposite of what Kurt expected. When Karofsky attacked-kissed him in high school, it was a desperate act of a scared boy. However now, his lips moved confidently and surely against Kurt's. His body screamed at him, reminding him that it wasn't Blaine, but his hormones attempted to fight back. Kurt responded to the kiss for a moment, and once he fully realized what he was doing, he jumped away, completely shocked by himself, covering his mouth.

"No, I can't do this."

Karofsky's eyes were pleading. "Why not, Kurt? Just this once? I'll do anything. I can even pretend it never happened by tomorrow. Just give me this one chance. It will mean the world to me."

Kurt hesitated. His stomach twisted up, making him almost feel sick, but at the same time his body, mind and heart craved any type of human connection. Even if it was from somebody Kurt really didn't want.

Kurt found himself unable to find a stranger to sleep with after Blaine left, but Karofsky was his friend. Maybe just sleeping with him would take away some of the pain for a while. And since Karofsky respected him and liked him enough, maybe Kurt would get more out of it. Plus, he wanted to feel like he was moving on from Blaine physically. It was like the last time he and Blaine made love imprinted on Kurt, and Kurt just wanted that to go away.

While Kurt deliberated, Karofsky waited patiently, but with bated breath. He knew it was wrong to take advantage of Kurt in such a vulnerable state, but this was the closest Kurt was ever going to be with him, and Karofsky would not miss out on that chance for _anything_.

"Okay, but only on one condition," Kurt finally decided.

"Yes," Karofsky was feeling pure euphoria, hardly believing it was true. Finally. "Anything."

"I don't bottom."

Karofsky shivered at his words. "You can have your way with me, Kurt."

"Okay," Kurt nodded. "Wait. Also, you aren't spending the night. And you can't expect anything more than just this. I am not interested in you romantically, nor will I ever date you. Got it?"

Karofsky took in his blunt words with thick skin. "I understand."

When Kurt fucked Karofsky bent over on the floor that night, all he could think about was how utterly wrong it felt, like he was cheating Blaine.

It was a good thing that the position allowed Kurt to hide his tears.


	11. Blaine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> note: this is Blaine's side of the break up, contains slight non-con and Seblaine

"Blaine? Blaine!" Sebastian was hollering his name over the phone. "You paid for the cargo plane, right?"

"Wait what?" Blaine was zoning out because his eyes fell on a breathtaking sight that made his heart hurt.

Sebastian groaned irritably, talking slowly like Blaine was a stupid child. "Do you have all your things?"

"Oh, no I wanted to move back to Ohio without my belongings," Blaine snapped sarcastically.

"Don't be a bitch," Sebastian said. "See you later tonight."

"Bye," Blaine hung up and stalled around the restrooms, leering. Relief flooded his veins as he watched Kurt and Rachel went to grab some food before the flight left. This was his chance.

Blaine rushed to get his ticket scanned and nearly tripped over his bag in haste of getting on the plane. He really didn't want to face Kurt; it would just hurt too much. Kurt probably just assumed Blaine sold his ticket on craigslist or something.

Since Blaine was one of the first passengers on board, he got a first-call first serve seat. He sat in the way back to avoid being seen, but also away from the bathroom just in case. Blaine knew Kurt had a huge distaste of using public restrooms, but sometimes nature calls.

Blaine started to get strangely worried as the plane filled up and Kurt and Rachel still hadn't gotten on. Out of sheer paranoia, he thought he might have been spotted, so Kurt probably refused to ride on a plane knowing Blaine was there.

Minutes later, as if Blaine could sense Kurt's presence, he crouched low when he saw the angelic form with messy chestnut hair struggle through the narrow aisle to get to the few remaining spots. Blaine noted bags under Kurt's eyes, and Rachel looked extremely worried. Blaine was worried too. But he had to look away, before his heart would shatter further.

Blaine put on earphones to listen to his iPod. He wanted to shut the world out, and also to forget that Kurt was within a couple dozen feet walking distance. Blaine squeezed his eyes shut to stop the tears from falling when he imagined Kurt's touch upon his flesh. Kurt's lips upon his own.

"Hey, you alright?" asked a beefy man sitting next to Blaine. "I've got some anxiety pills if you're afraid of flying." The large man noted Blaine's death grip on the armrest, his knuckles white.

"Oh, no I'm fine thanks. Just have… a stomach pain."

"Here," the man handed him Advil. Blaine swallowed it dry and thanked the man, turning over and busying himself with other thoughts.

The adoption hearing went well. Despite Blaine's miserable state, he played it off like he was just worried about losing his son. But Blaine couldn't stop thinking about Kurt. KurtKurtKurtKurt. His name would repeat over and over in his mind, or sometimes would receive just flashes of his galaxy eyes, his beautiful lips or his warm hands. But Blaine had to push aside his misery for the sake of his child. Mikey. Blaine was a father, and he couldn't forget that.

Blaine and Sebastian said at the hearing that they just had a really bad fight, and in a brief lapse of judgment, Blaine moved to New York just to get a way for a few months. The lawyers seemed to understand, and let them off with a warning, with regular in-home check-ups.

Blaine ached to hold his son in his arms, because it had been far too long. However, Blaine dreaded going home to Sebastian. Blaine left his true heart in New York, and Blaine knows all too well that Sebastian will stop at nothing to worm his way in again.

Like a starving man who was going through withdrawal and needed his next fix, Blaine chanced another look at Kurt. He and Rachel had fallen asleep in awkward positions. Kurt looked restless, his eyebrows were taut and he was frowning, harsh lines set in his face. Blaine wanted to smooth them away; make Kurt move on and find someone who truly deserves his love and affection.

What was strange was that Kurt had no idea that Blaine was there, watching him sleep. Blaine sort of envied him. It was pure agony being so close, yet so far away. Blaine had to brace himself, leaning his head against the seat in front of him so he wouldn't have a panic attack.

"Man, you really hate being on planes don't you?" The man next to him commented, sounding concerned.

Blaine laughed hollowly. "Yeah, something like that."

Blaine was unable to sleep during the flight, so he just stayed in that position. Having his neck craned like that was really uncomfortable, but he felt like he deserved it. He deserved any and all pain that went his way because he had failed Kurt. This was his entire fault. Blaine was such a masochist.

Once the plane touched down in Columbus, Blaine thanked whatever deity was out there that Kurt and Rachel were one of the first individuals to get off. If Blaine was lucky, by the time he went to baggage claim they would be long gone.

Blaine hid in the shadows, watching Kurt and Rachel walk out to the pickup terminal, where their parents were most likely waiting for them. If things weren't so fucking messed up, Blaine would be out there right now, meeting Kurt's step mom or Rachel's parents. Blaine blinked rapidly, willing his tears to disappear.

He just wanted to wake up from this bad dream.

Blaine walked blindly out to the parking lot, tears blurring his vision, to find Sebastian waiting for him by their mini-van. He was bouncing 3 year old Mikey off his hip. As much of a dick as Sebastian was sometimes, he would do anything for his son and Blaine knew that. He could see Sebastian's eyes light up and positively glow with a gleaming smile whenever Mikey was around. Maybe this would be worth it in the long run, Blaine reasoned with himself. Blaine felt rocks drop in his chest when Sebastian turned to look at him, expression suddenly cold. Blaine was just fooling himself with optimistic thoughts.

"Those better be tears of happiness," he sniped. "Did you even miss your son at all?"

Blaine ignored him, reaching out for Mikey who had just exclaimed, "Daddy!"

Blaine's heart warmed as he enveloped the child into his secure arms. Blaine just wanted to break down and cry and hold his son forever. But he kept it together. Barely.

On the ride home, Blaine sat in the back while Mikey babbled nonsense, and Blaine told him all about his adventures in New York in fairy-tale format.

"I met a beautiful wood nymph in a magical forest," Blaine began, making his voice sing-song. "He was afraid of me at first, but eventually he decided to share himself with me, and it was amazing."

Mikey 'ooh-ed' and asked Blaine to tell him more.

"But Daddy had to leave this wood nymph all alone, because he needed to come home to you," Blaine's voice cracked, poking Mikey on the nose.

Mikey pouted. "But Daddy, why can't the wood nymph come too?"

Blaine smiled sadly. "The wood nymph can't leave the magical forest, that's where he belongs."

"But you miss him," Mikey objected, making Blaine want to burst into hysterical tears again. Blaine could only nod, effectively ending his story for now.

Blaine held Mikey's hand and looked into the rearview mirror to see Sebastian glance at him with an impassive expression. It stirred buried fear in the Blaine. He recognized that look.

When they got home it was past dusk. Mikey had fallen asleep in his car seat, so Blaine carried him carefully up to his room and put him to bed. Blaine sang to him a little bit, stroking his hair. Mikey was so pure and innocent, and Blaine never wanted him to grow up and have to deal with real-world problems.

Sebastian just watched, leaning against the doorway not saying a word. He didn't join in singing like old times and it unnerved Blaine. Everything was broken, with no sign in the future of it being fixed.

Blaine closed the door gently behind him, coming face to face with Sebastian, who had that look again.

Blaine sighed. "I'm tired, Sebastian. It's been a long day.. can we just go to bed?"

"Certainly," he said stiffly, gesturing the master bedroom like Blaine forgot where it was.

Blaine slipped off his shoes and collapsed on top of the bed, exhausted. He heard Sebastian changing a few feet away. Neither of them spoke. Blaine buried his face into the pillows when he felt Sebastian's weight next to him on the mattress.

"Let me help you relax," Sebastian purred quietly. He put his hands on Blaine's shoulders and started massaging deeply.

Blaine moaned, because it felt so good. He didn't realize how much tension he was carrying in his body until now. Sebastian slowly made his way down Blaine's back, digging his fingers into his spine with circular patterns. Blaine felt contracted muscles release blood, his body completely relaxing.

Blaine turned his head and mumbled, "Thanks." Blaine was starting to fall into lucid dreaming, yet still awake enough to feel Sebastian's talented fingers working his neck.

Sebastian ran his hand through Blaine's un-gelled hair, and it tickled a little, causing Blaine to open his eyes. Blaine's mouth fell open in a small gasp. Sebastian was stark naked, unabashedly sporting an erection.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to seduce you," Sebastian said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"But I'm tired," Blaine complained, body flooded in panic. He didn't think he could do this now, or ever for that matter.

"But I'm horny," he countered, smirking with his pearly whites.

Blaine decided to just jump right into the heart of the matter. "You cheated on me."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "A momentary mix-up. You got to sleep with your fairy princess wood nymph or whatever, so that makes us even."

Blaine didn't know what to say. He felt his throat constrict as tears flooded his eyes suddenly. "I don't know if I can."

"Oh, Blaine. It'll be fine. You know the kind of magic we make between the sheets."

Blaine cringed. He felt like he was going to be sick. He didn't want to sleep with Sebastian. He wanted to be with Kurt. More than anything. More than anything else in the entire universe.

"Can it wait? I'm just not feeling it," Blaine said half-heartedly, knowing he was about to lose. He was out of options now.

"Well that's too bad," Sebastian said dangerously.

Sebastian straddled Blaine's back, who struggled for a moment until his wrists were pinned above his head. Blaine gave up immediately knowing Sebastian's strength of his 6'4'' stature.

"That's more like it," he cooed, reaching his other hand down to slip Blaine's pants down under the slope of his ass. "We both know how you like to just take it."

Blaine gripped the mattress and buried his face into the pillows again, willing himself not to sob. He felt so violated, but Sebastian always got what he wanted. Especially when it came to Blaine. The moment he had his hooks in Blaine was the moment they adopted a child together. That was a forever commitment, especially since they had the weight and taboo thrust upon them for being a gay couple. Sebastian's hold was now everlasting, and there was nothing Blaine could do about it.

Sebastian barely prepped him before going to town like a ravenous animal. Blaine didn't resist. He just took it, just like Sebastian said he would. 

Blaine bit the pillows as Sebastian fucked into him, trying not to wail in agony. 

Kurt...


	12. Illness of the Soul

After Dave had left, Kurt slept restlessly. His bed just felt so empty without Blaine, even though he had never graced his presence there. Kurt kept having dreams he couldn’t remember, but every time he woke up from them, his skin would be on fire, sweating profusely and panting like he had just ran a mile. 

Just as the sun started streaking through the blinds of the guest room, Kurt woke suddenly his eyes itching with tiredness, his legs tangled uncomfortably in the sheets. There was a sharp pain in his abdomen, and in that moment he knew he was going to be sick within 10 seconds, so he sped to the bathroom and retched violently.

Kurt’s limbs were shaking as he leaned against the toilet for a few minutes, breathing raggedly. He felt like utter crap, and he didn’t think he would be able to stomach hanging out with his friends today; and especially face Karofsky after what they did last night. 

Kurt had never in his life felt remorse for having a one night stand with someone. Before Blaine, it was something he did on a regular basis. There were only two possible reasons for this alien emotion: Karofsky was his friend, and Kurt normally slept with strangers he never had to see again if he didn’t have to, or maybe it was the fact that Blaine has permanently changed him, and his body and mind forever more only will want Blaine, and if Kurt ever shares himself with anyone else it’s like a mortal sin.

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door. “Dude, you okay?” It was Finn, sounding extremely tired and concerned.

Kurt wiped his mouth and flushed the toilet, leaning against the bathtub as he struggled into an upright position. “Yeah, just threw up, it’s okay.”

Finn chanced coming in, the door creaked open and Kurt still couldn’t find the strength to get up. 

Finn leaned down on the floor and rubbed Kurt’s back. “You don’t look very good, how about you stay in bed today and Mom and I can take care of you.”

Kurt smiled and his heart warmed, leaning into Finn, thankful to have such a caring brother. Finn held him for a while, and Kurt almost drifted off into tense sleep when Finn said, “C’mon, let me help you to bed.”

Kurt was still shaking and his mouth was really dry from dehydration. Finn basically hauled Kurt up with his own strength alone and limped to the guest room with Kurt leaning heavily on him. Kurt collapsed on the bed, groaning because his whole body was starting to ache from the sensitivity of being sick.

“Finn, I’m really thirsty, can you get me a glass of water,” Kurt croaked, trying to get comfortable.

Finn felt his forehead, a crease of worry on his brow. “Yeah, no problem, just say the word if you need me,” Finn said softly, affectionately before he left the room.

Kurt was a self-sufficient person so he really loathed the idea of people waiting on his hand and foot, but he really was feeling quite terrible, and he could really use the company of people who actually loved him. 

But it would never be enough because his soul only craved another’s unconditional love. Love he would never get back.

Finn came back with Carole and some water to find Kurt curled up in the fetal position, crying. 

Carol hugged him, rubbing his back soothingly. “Shh, it’s okay honey, don’t cry.”

But Kurt couldn’t stop crying. Blaine was supposed to be here for him, but he wasn’t. Blaine lied. He lied about everything. He never loved Kurt or cared about him; he just needed the distraction from his terrible life back in East Liverpool or wherever the fuck he lived and his inevitable loneliness of moving to a new city. Why couldn’t anyone love Kurt without coming with a cost?

Kurt heaved and sobbed, and Carole stayed, kissing his burning forehead lightly and whispering that things will be okay. Finn couldn’t stand seeing his brother so broken. It cut something deep because it reminded him so much of Burt’s funeral. Finn got into the bed with Kurt, and curled him into his arms, holding Kurt tightly as he felt his own tears fall...

_“I don’t believe in God dad, but I believe in you. And I believe in us. You and me; that’s what’s sacred to me. And I’m so sorry I never got to tell you that.”_

_Kurt squeezed his father’s hand, but there was no response, no change. Kurt cursed whatever force allowed this to happen. What is a son to do without his own father in his life? Where would Kurt turn when he needed him most? Like now. Kurt was helpless and there was nothing he could do._

_The hospital room suddenly got colder and Kurt flipped around. It was the ethereal Blaine again, smiling sadly. Kurt turned away, squeezing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth, his heart breaking further._

_“Please leave,” Kurt begged._

_“You need to stop telling yourself lies, Kurt.” the voice echoed around the room._

_Kurt knew it was a dream and he kept opening and closing his eyes, willing himself to wake but he couldn’t escape his nightmare._

_“I can’t take this anymore, this is torture,” Kurt’s choked. “I just wan’t everything to stop.”_

_“Kurt,” the voice sounded deeply concerned. “You know I could never leave you.”_

_Kurt wrapped his arms around himself, completely breaking down. “But you did.. you did,” Kurt repeated it over and over, heaving with sorrow. Why couldn’t Blaine just leave him in peace? Alone with the only man that will ever truly love him?_

_“It’s time to wake up now, Kurt.”_

Kurt’s eyes flew open, momentarily confused about where he was. Once he realized he was in the guest room at his parent’s house, he remembered that he had cried in Carole’s and Finn’s arms, eventually falling asleep without even noticing.

Kurt still felt Finn wrapped around him, breathing slowly, his breath raising goosebumps on the nape of Kurt’s sweaty neck. Kurt’s heart warmed because he knew how much his brother cared about him. If Finn were in a similar state, Kurt would have done the same thing, without a doubt.

Kurt pulled Finn’s lanky arm tighter around him, enjoying the feeling of being loved and accepted by somebody. With a small laugh, Kurt realized his inner sophomore would die to be in this position.

After a while, Kurt heard footsteps in the hallway and he glanced up in time to see Carole bringing in soup on a tray. She set it on the nightstand, and pushed Kurt’s bangs out of his eyes.

“Hi honey, how are you feeling,” she asked quietly, trying not to wake Finn. She looked like she was going to burst into tears, and Kurt felt extremely guilty for bringing her down with him.

“Still a little shaky, but a bit better I suppose. You didn’t have to,” Kurt sighed, gesturing the soup.

Carole smiled, looking hesitant. “Kurt?” Her voice was careful and controlled. Kurt sensed this coming. “I know you don’t want to talk about this, but is the way you’re feeling right now have anything to do with this guy Blaine that was supposed to accompany you on this trip? Finn told me he was basically living with you and he was kind of your boyfriend.”

Kurt felt his stomach twist in agony again, but he knew he had to be honest. Her motherly, unwavering gaze knew all. “Yeah,” Kurt confessed. “He couldn’t come because he had an adopted son he didn’t tell me about that he needed to go home to.”

Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline in surprise, but her eyes remained sympathetic. “I’m so sorry, Kurt. You didn’t deserve that. Finn told he had never seen you so happy..”

There was a sense of loss in her voice, and it made Kurt cringe. “Can we just forget it, I’ll move on eventually.”

She kissed his forehead, stroking his cheek softly. “I hope so.”

There was a hint of doubt in her voice because she knew all too well how Kurt still wasn’t over the fact that his father had died. She didn’t blame him, either. She wasn't over it either. Kurt on the other hand already had so much pain to deal with before, and a romance heartbreak was a whole new wave of emotional terrain that Kurt never really had on his plate before.

And she knew exactly how he dealt with his emotions. He didn’t. He just pushed them aside and found other means of making himself feel better. This made her worried sick, and Kurt caught all these flashes behind her eyes as she turned to leave the room. She hesitated in the doorway, eyeing her two sons cuddled in bed together, wishing that they didn’t have to deal with so much. She wanted to make it all go away so everything could be perfect for them. But she knew that was impossible.

Kurt’s eyes drifted closed as he watched her sigh and close the door behind her. He left the real world as quickly as he joined it.

_Kurt felt warm, like there were candles surrounding him. He felt completely content and at peace. He wanted to stay in this place forever, wherever it was._

_Kurt opened his eyes and with a jolt saw Blaine’s face a hair breadth’s away from his own. Blaine nuzzled his nose and looked deep into Kurt’s eyes. His skin looked like it was glowing from underneath, and Kurt knew he wasn’t real._

_“Why are you here,” Kurt whispered, afraid to shatter the fantasy._

_“I’ve always been here,” Blaine answered smoothly, the corner of his mouth twitching up._

_Kurt furrowed his eyebrows, squeezing Blaine’s shoulder. “But you-”_

_“Shhh, just stay here with me,” Blaine breathed, stroking Kurt’s arm in a reassuring manner._

_Kurt felt tears well in his eyes. “But this isn’t real.”_

_Blaine stared determinedly back. “But it is, Kurt. This is the most real thing you know.”_

_Kurt didn’t know what to say, so he just lay there, holding Blaine and was held in turn. This would have to do for now, even though Kurt knew he could wake up at any moment. He just wanted to hold onto the fact that this was the first good dream he has had since he could remember..._

“ _Kurt_.. Kurt?”

Kurt woke with a start, his heart beating in his ears. He blinked a few times to see Rachel’s face close to his, looking at him with concern. She looked over her shoulder questioningly. “How long has he been like this?”

Finn came up behind her, rubbing his eyes. Kurt realized he was in an empty bed, when just moments ago felt like it was filled with the essence of Blaine. “He’s been like this all day. He hasn’t eaten anything, and his soup is cold.” Finn frowned. 

“Rachel?” Kurt’s voice cracked from disuse. “What are you doing here?”

She looked relieved that he seemed in a sane state of mind. “Carole called us, and we wanted to come make sure you were okay.”

“We who?” Kurt sat up to see the majority of his friends crowding the small room. He suddenly felt like an animal on display at the zoo. He really didn’t like it. Kurt fell to the bed again with a groan, he looked _terrible_ right now.

Rachel felt his forehead. “Are you okay? Are you going to be sick again? Do you need me to get you a bucket?”

He slapped her hand away. “No, I’m fine, I just don’t like the fact that you guys were watching me as I slept. I feel violated.”

“Kurt we’re just here to help,” Karofsky said, leaning forward and patting his arm. Kurt’s stomach did a weird flip seeing him there again, remembering with full clarity of the activities they partook in the previous night. The odd look on Karofsky’s face hinted at the same thing.

“C’mon you should eat your soup,” Rachel insisted, reaching to help him up, but he swatted her hand again. 

“I’m fine,” he grunted, getting into an upright position again, and with shaking hands he picked up his bowl of soup and a rather large spoon. They all watched quietly as Kurt took a few slurps of it. His stomach growled violently, all the while feeling the cooled liquid go down his esophagus pleasantly. It was a rather odd sensation.

“So you guys have nothing better to do,” Kurt snapped, feeling grumpy despite the kind thought that went behind everyone’s visit.

Finn shrugged and laughed uncomfortably. “Not really, dude.”

“Well I want to go downstairs and watch TV or something. I’m sick of this room.”

Kurt struggled to get up, and when he saw Rachel trying to lean in to assist once again, he shot daggers at her with piercing eyes. They all made their way slowly downstairs to the warm living room where Carole sat, knitting. She looked up, smiling happily.

“I’m glad to see you feel better, Kurt.”

Kurt opened his mouth to respond, but then there was a frantic rapping on the door. Carole looked up, a bit alarmed. 

“Who could it be?” She wondered out loud, voicing everyone’s thoughts.

Something made Kurt rush to the door and be the first one to open it. And when he did, he absolutely could not believe what he saw.

It was Blaine, looking utterly terrified with tears in his big, gorgeous eyes, holding an adorable child who was no older than 3.

“Kurt, please. You have to let me in.”


	13. A Place to Hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And in the darkest night  
> If my memory serves me right  
> I'll never turn back time  
> Forgetting you, but not the time...

It was as if time had slowed down. Kurt was completely frozen, just gaping and staring. It was like he had a stroke. No wheels turning, just utter shock. Kurt was so sure for the longest time that seeing Blaine would only take place in the land of dreams, yet here he was. 

“Kurt? Who is it?” Carole had come up behind his still form. “Oh, hello there!” She instantly lit up at the sight of the adorable child, who smiled bashfully at the attention, hiding his face in his father’s neck. 

“Hello Mrs. Hudson-Hummel, my name is Blaine Anderson and this is my son, Mikey,” Blaine said politely, yet in a rush. He still had that panicked look in his eyes, which kept darting to Kurt. “I’m really sorry to show up without any warning, but it’s sort of an emergency.”

Carole was tickling Mikey, who laughed cheerfully, completely unaware of the tense situation. “Do you mind?” Blaine asked, and his voice shook.

“Oh, no problem, please come in,” Carole said amiably, taking the small child into her arms. If Kurt wasn’t completely rooted on the spot, he would have melted at the sight. Before his father died, he knew how badly she wanted a child with Burt. Mikey was the perfect symbol of pure, childish innocence; he had fine blond hair and joyful, bright blue eyes set in his cherubic face. 

“What the fuck is he doing there,” Karofsky snarled, suddenly in the doorway along with Finn looking equally as menacing. 

Blaine held his arms up as a defensive gesture. “I have a lot of explaining to do, I know.”

Finn leaped in front of Blaine, crowding his space and towering over him. “You have some nerve showing your face here after what you did to my brother.”

Blaine looked much more terrified by some unseen force other than Finn. He kept glancing over his shoulder, and Kurt suddenly realized his eyes were bloodshot and his hair and clothes were in disarray. Kurt sensed danger, and he finally unfroze, grabbing Finn’s arm weakly.

“Finn, don’t,” Kurt warned. Finn looked to him and shook with emotion, but backed away from Blaine, who looked utterly desperate either to go to Kurt or to get into the house, Kurt wasn’t really sure.

“Kurt, thank you. I drove nearly 4 hours to come see you, so thank you. _Thank you_. I know I don’t deserve it, but I am deeply humbled from the bottom of my heart,” Blaine babbled, sounding like he was either going to go insane or burst into tears at any moment. Kurt’s face was impassive as he stepped aside to allow Blaine into his parent’s house. Kurt really wasn’t thinking about his actions, he just performed them.

“Like hell,” Karofsky protested, shoving Blaine roughly into the door, beefy arm jammed against Blaine’s windpipe. “He has no fucking idea how messed up Kurt is because of him, and he can’t be forgiven so easily!” 

Blaine was choking, grappling at Karofsky’s arm, who had spit flying with each word he enunciated. Kurt watched as the two men who loved him had a stare down - _no_. It was one man who loved Kurt, and one man Kurt desperately wanted to love him, but didn’t. 

“Daddy! Help him, Wood Nymph!” Mikey sounded terrified as he cried from Carole’s arms, her eyes wide and her mouth open, watching the scene before her unfold, unable to say or do anything.

It was then Kurt’s body flooded in panic. A child shouldn’t see something like this. Kurt reacted with lithe reflexes. 

“Stop it, Dave! You’re hurting him!” Kurt shoved him off, baring his teeth. “Not in front of the child!”

Karofsky threw his arms up in the air. “BUT HE DESERVES IT!” he bellowed, making Kurt wince and the others back away slightly. 

Blaine rubbed his throat and coughed a few times. “You’re right, I do.” Blaine hung his head, looking utterly defeated. Kurt studied him hesitantly, but noticed the light within him appeared to be gone, or it at least was greatly diminished than from what Kurt remembered. That was what Kurt loved most about Blaine, was his light, even in the darkest of times. What happened to him?

Kurt kept a reasonable distance between himself and Blaine, but still had to ask in a quiet voice, “Blaine, what’s going on? Why are you here?”

Blaine was still breathing raggedly, hands on his knees before he stood up to look Kurt in the eye. His eyes were shining and he was shaking. Kurt stared back, and the intimacy of the moment was too much, so Kurt had to look away.

“I left Sebastian,” Blaine finally said, his words slicing like he had a very unpleasant taste in his mouth. 

“Why?” Kurt asked quickly, still not quite understanding. 

Blaine’s eyes glazed over as if he was living in a memory. “He... he.. did things. To me. I had to go. I had to take Mikey away too. Sebastian is toxic to everyone around him, no matter how much he loves... loves being a father.”

“What have you done?” Kurt demanded. “Now you’ve really messed up, Blaine! Social services will most likely take Mikey away now because of your actions!”

Blaine fell to his knees, tears streaming out of his eyes, looking at Kurt like he was going to grovel and beg for him to see reason. “Kurt, you don’t understand! He’s so horrible! He’s manipulative and cunning, and he won’t stop at anything! I had to keep myself and Mikey safe! I had to! I had nowhere else to go!”

Blaine looked like he was about to have a full-fledged panic attack. Blaine was always the strong one, and it tore Kurt down to his core to see Blaine so broken and pathetic. Kurt’s demeanor immediately softened as he took a step closer to Blaine.

“What kinds of things did he do to you, Blaine?” Kurt asked softly, resisting the enormous urge to wrap Blaine up in his arms and kiss him breathless. It just seemed so natural, but he had to fight it. Kurt loved him, and Blaine didn’t feel the same way, so he couldn’t set himself up for failure. Not even for a few minutes comfort in a disastrous situation. 

Blaine swallowed visibly and audibly, glancing over at his son and looking like he was about to puke. “I.. I c-can’t say. Just.. really bad things. When Sebastian left for work today I packed my things in a rush and just drove. I didn’t even realize I was heading to Lima until I was halfway through Ohio. I just know he can’t find us here.”

Despite how much Blaine had broken his heart, deep inside Kurt there was the rumble of an angry monster who wanted to beat Sebastian to a pulp. Kill him even; so Blaine wouldn’t hurt or be afraid anymore. Kurt was clearly aware of Sebastian’s emotional abuse, but it’s possible that he went even further this time. Now it was Kurt who was starting to feel like he was going to hurl for the second time today. He clenched his fists as his whole body shook with revulsion and rage.

“We’ll keep you guys safe,” Kurt promised, his words breaking at the end of his meaningful sentence. “We can figure something out so you’ll never be hurt again, Blaine.”

Blaine wiped his face and looked up at Kurt like he had been saved by some sort of forgiving deity. There was so much hope, desperation and uncertainty in his eyes, and it stirred Kurt’s soul. Kurt knew that he was getting close to opening up once again to the one who tarnished his walls to show him love, but he didn’t really seem to care in that moment. There was something much more life-altering and important at stake.

After what felt like an eternity, Kurt held out his hand to help Blaine up from the floor. Blaine’s mouth fell open in awe, tears starting afresh as he clasped his hand with Kurt’s like a lifeline. Kurt pulled Blaine upright, not letting go and just stared, soaking it all in. 

Everyone was completely silent during this whole exchange, and Kurt didn’t even notice. He was so dreadfully lost and confused only minutes before Blaine’s arrival, but now things seemed to fall in place, despite the chaos. Even in the eye of the storm, Blaine’s hand in his was the only thing that made sense in that moment.

“Guys, I think we should leave these two alone to... talk,” Santana finally spoke up, addressing her friends, twining her fingers with Brittany and pulling her close.

“Yeah,” Puck agreed, heading to the door to open it. Quinn, Sam and Mercedes followed, smiling nervously at Kurt and waving. He returned it. 

Rachel squeezed Kurt’s arm. “Call me if you need anything, ok?” Kurt nodded, smiling slightly, and then kissed her on the cheek.

“I’m going to stay with Rachel tonight, if that’s okay with you, mom,” Finn said somberly, avoiding Kurt’s gaze by staring at the floor. Kurt was having a difficult time deciphering his expression. Carole nodded, rocking Mikey whose eyelids were getting heavy from exhaustion. 4 hours in a car was really tough on small children.

The others bid farewell, not really giving proper goodbyes because they were so lost in thought from the stressful situation. However, they understood that Kurt would need them later, and they all would have the night to mull it over. 

Karofsky stalled in the doorframe, looking at Kurt and Blaine knowing that despite it all, Kurt would never look at him that way. This deeply saddened Karofsky, but he realized he needed to come to terms with it. Kurt would never love him the way he loved Blaine, and that was a fact.

“See you tomorrow, Kurt,” Karofsky said, and closed the front door softly behind him, all traces of anger and resentment gone. Kurt was thankful for that.

Blaine finally dropped Kurt’s hand and turned to Carole. “Thank you for letting me into your lovely home, and for holding my son. Sorry about all the drama.”

Carole smiled sympathetically, handing the drowsy child to Blaine, who kissed his soft head. “I’m going to go put him to bed, you have a restful evening Mrs. Hudson-Hummel. Sorry again.”

“Don’t be, dear,” she said quietly, turning to the kitchen to go make some tea and probably watch some TV before bed. “Sweet dreams.”

Kurt and Blaine walked slowly up the stairs without saying another word. Once they reached the landing, Kurt gestured to the guest room, and Blaine followed.

Blaine watched Kurt make the messy bed, then fluffed the pillows to make them more comfortable for Mikey. “Here, put him in the middle,” Kurt whispered.

Blaine laid him gently down onto the covers, but Mikey was already fast asleep. Kurt thought he looked like a slumbering angel, and it warmed his heart. Blaine stroked his hair, breathing shakily and sniffling. 

Kurt’s hand twitched, but then he decided to go for it, rubbing Blaine’s back soothingly. Blaine flinched slightly at the contact, but then smiled gratefully at Kurt, his eyes crinkling. 

Blaine then turned back to his son, and started to sing an unknown tune to Mikey. Kurt harmonized softly, their voices carrying around the room. The lullaby of their gentle song intertwined in the most beautiful way, and Carole got to appreciate it from downstairs.

Blaine lied down gently onto the bed next to his son, never taking his eyes off him. “I hope I did the right thing,” Blaine sighed, tears leaking out of his eyes.

“You did,” Kurt affirmed, twisting his own hands together nervously. “Don’t worry we’ll figure this out together.”

“Thanks, Kurt,” Blaine’s voice was rough with emotion. “I don’t know what I would have done if you slammed the door in my face. Even if I deserved it.”

Kurt’s throat got really tight, making him unable to respond. So he just settled with a non-committal shrug. 

What Blaine didn’t know was that Kurt would probably do almost anything for him, no matter the cost. Kurt loved Blaine more than life itself, and that concept alone was absolutely terrifying.

Blaine smiled and then gestured Kurt to lay down with him. “Come here.” 

Kurt shook his head. “No, it’s okay, I’ll leave you two, and I can go sleep in Finn’s bed.”

Kurt turned to leave, but Blaine grabbed his arm. “No, Kurt I want you to stay.”

Kurt felt his eyes sting with tears. “Why?” 

Why did Blaine have to talk so affectionately all the time? This just made it all the more difficult. At this rate, Kurt would never get over him, and he wasn’t sure if he could take the pain.

“Because I’ve missed you so much, Kurt,” Blaine’s voice shook. “I’m not sure I could spend another night without you.”

Kurt wrenched his arm away, the tears finally breaking free. “You can’t just say things like that!”

“Why not,” Blaine demanded, lowering his voice, showing it was urgent to not to turn this into an argument and wake Mikey. 

Kurt turned around to face Blaine. “You don’t know how hard this is for me! Seeing you here when I thought I never would see you again! It hurts so much to have you so close, but I can’t have you!”

Blaine’s face set, looking very serious. “I know exactly how you feel. But I’m yours, Kurt. I always have been.”

Kurt shook his head, disbelieving. “It doesn’t feel that way to me. You lied to me. You left me. You know how difficult it is for me to connect to another human being, and you just threw it away like it meant nothing!”

Blaine got to his feet, walking slowly toward Kurt, lowering his voice to a hushed whisper. “I know, I messed everything up. The fact that I hurt you tortured me every day. I thought I deserved to go back to a horrible boyfriend who mistreated because of what I did to you. But please understand my position. It’s not just about me anymore.” Blaine nodded toward his sleeping son. 

Kurt crossed his arms and glared at the closet. “I know, that’s the worst part. You have more important things in your life than me to tend to.” Kurt sounded extremely bitter.

Blaine got really close, but still far enough away to not be touching. Kurt could feel an electric current running over his skin. Just one more posture modification and they would be touching. It was driving him insane.

“Kurt,” Blaine said. “You are the most important thing to me in the world.”

Kurt turned to look at Blaine, to measure his expression. Blaine’s eyes were wide and shining. Looking into Blaine’s eyes was like seeing wisdom, and he looked like he meant every word.

“But-” Kurt choked up. “I don’t think you care about me as much as care about you, and I don’t think I can handle that.”

Blaine placed his palms on Kurt’ shoulders, looking deep into his eyes. “How can you say something like that?”

Kurt’s lip quivered, words threatening to break free, and if that happened his walls would crash around him again, ripping all wounds afresh. Kurt wasn’t breathing, and Blaine started to look extremely worried, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“Kurt-”

“It’s because I’m in love with you, Blaine!” Kurt blurted eventually, his entire body shaking. “I remember you in the Warblers before my Dad died, and you have this hold over me that I can’t seem to shake! My whole life has been a complete mess, and despite you breaking my heart into a million pieces on more than one occasion, you are the only thing that makes sense in this fucked up world! I wanted to tell you I loved you every single day, until Sebastian came and ruined everything! Why can’t I be loved? What have I done to deserve all this pain?”

Kurt was panting, veins burning with the adrenaline of the truth. Blaine’s plump mouth had fallen open, and tears were running silently down his cheeks. In the darkness of the room, the shimmering wetness made Blaine’s eyes more tragically beautiful.

“Say something, Blaine,” Kurt begged. The silence was closing in again.

“Oh my god, Kurt,” Blaine gasped looking like a man seeing the sun for the first time. “I love you too. _I love you so much_. More than anything in the entire world. I just-”

With utter desperation, and unable to say anything more, Blaine grabbed Kurt’s face and crashed their lips together. Kurt kissed him back just as passionately, hardly believing that this was happening. His body felt like it was on fire, and Kurt was so utterly thrilled and blissed out, he felt like he could float away. Blaine was crying, and Kurt could taste his salty tears of happiness.

Kurt’s brain barely had time to process what Blaine said, but being close to him just felt too right, and he couldn’t stop. He felt like deep down, despite everything, this was exactly where he belonged.

The two men sank to the floor, clawing at each other, letting out desperate groans and whines of need. They needed each other like they needed air, and even when their bodies become one, it wasn’t enough. They needed to be closer. They needed more. 

That night they got lost in each other’s sighs, touches and heartbeats.


	14. At What Cost

Mikey woke to the sound of a really annoying bird chirping outside the window. Mikey sighed because the pillows he was laying on smelled like the Wood Nymph, but he still didn’t really know where he was, so he decided to crawl to the edge of the bed to find his Daddy.

He found his Daddy sleeping on the floor, and Mikey wasn’t really sure why; but his arms were wrapped around the magical Wood Nymph, and he looked so happy. He had never seen his Daddy look so happy before, not even with Papa. Mikey leaned on his hands, kicking his feet in the air, waiting for them to wake up.

Once his Daddy and the Wood Nymph began to stir, Mikey watched as they rubbed their eyes and made eye-contact with Mikey, expressions immediately warming.

“Hey there buddy,” Blaine croaked, trying to flatten his dark curls. “Did you sleep okay?”

Mikey sighed dramatically. “Yeah, but I’m hungry now. Where are we? Is the Wood Nymph going to be my new Papa?”

Kurt raised a questioning brow, smiling slightly, remembering why he was here in Blaine’s arms. He had never in his life felt more content. “Wood Nymph?”

“I’ll explain later,” Blaine laughed. “Let’s go get breakfast.”

Kurt stretched, and Blaine couldn’t help but stare. He was so afraid that if he blinked, Kurt would be gone, and this was all just an amazing dream. Last night was too good to be true. They did in fact keep it relatively PG-13 since his son was in the room, but their reunion was stimulating and beautiful all the same.

Like two forces of nature drawn to each other, Blaine kept his hand clasped with Kurt’s and their bodies moved together in synchronization. Blaine wasn’t sure that leaving Kurt’s side would be physically possible for him anymore.

Kurt’s face lit up as he grinned at Mikey. “Want to walk down the stairs with us little man? There are a lot of them, so watch your step!”

“Okay!” Mikey rolled off the bed, and put his hand in Kurt’s. The sight made Blaine’s heart feel warm and like it was going to burst at the seams. He really could get used to this.

While Kurt made breakfast, whistling cheerfully, Blaine colored with Mikey on a piece of paper that Carole provided. 

“Look Daddy! It’s me, you and the Wood Nymph! I wasn’t sure if I should draw Papa, since he isn’t here today. Where is he?”

Kurt tensed a little, still whipping up a batch of pancakes, because he was relatively certain who ‘Papa’ was, and Blaine still hasn’t explained the entire situation. He tried to force his bubble of worry down and away for the time being, because Kurt really wanted to just have a nice day with the love of his life.

“Papa needed to go away for a while Mikey,” Blaine’s voice quivered in response, but still remained undetected by the child. “But don’t worry, he loves you very much and has you on his mind.”

Mikey shrugged, satisfied by his father’s answer and continued his coloring of the stick figures.

Kurt placed the pancakes and syrup on the table in no time, and Carole joined them after her morning cup of coffee and daily news. 

“Morning boys, sleep well?” She giggled lightly. Kurt blushed, because he suspected she might have heard them last night. 

“We sure did, thank you Mrs. Hudson-Hummel,” Blaine said politely, covering his mouth as he spoke because his mouth was full of food.

“Oh, dear, you can call me Carole,” she smiled warmly at Blaine. This made Kurt unendingly happy that she approved of Blaine’s presence here, even after all the drama that went on yesterday.

Blaine’s eyes looked a little glassy, and he squeezed her hand to show how much he appreciated everything. 

“So,” Kurt interjected after the long, sentimental moment had passed. “Who’s all coming down for the holidays?”

“Oh,” Carole clasped her hands together excitedly, looking absolutely delighted. Kurt hoped her food wasn’t going to get cold before she got the chance to eat it. “Everyone! Uncle George, Aunt Rebecca, Marie-Ann and Brian of course...”

Kurt and Blaine smiled softly at each other while Carole went on about special salted bread (a family recipe!), how shopping on Black Friday had been hell, and how Kurt and his cousins needed to take pictures for the Christmas cards once they arrived so she could send them out soon.

Kurt admired Carole’s courage. Even though she was widowed, twice, she still managed to have an upbeat outlook on life. Things never seemed to get her down, and Kurt envied that about her. It was possible her life was more tolerable because she had Finn around the house since he took over the tire shop, but Kurt still worried from time to time if she got lonely. 

Mikey listened to her, enthralled, because he had never before experienced a holiday that sounded so busy and exciting! It was probably because Sebastian wasn’t very good at making friends, and he managed to bring Blaine down under with him to the anti-social parade.

“So many people will be so happy to see you,” Carole cooed, leaning into Mikey and poking him on the nose. He giggled, delighted at the prospect of being loved by everyone.

She turned to Kurt and Blaine. “Hey, you guys should take him to the park today, I think he’d like that.”

“That sounds like so much fun!” Mikey exclaimed, flailing his little arms.

“Sounds like a plan, buddy,” Blaine smiled stroking his hair lovingly.

They finished eating soon enough, and Carole offered to do the dishes (with much protest from Kurt), but she insisted that they should go since it was almost noon, and that was the best time of day to go to the park.

They decided to take the short walk there, Kurt and Blaine holding hands and watching with adoration while Mikey ran ahead of them, chasing a bug.

“I’m really happy to be here with you,” Kurt admitted after a while, barely able to contain the joy he was feeling right now. Despite all that had happened, he felt like they were falling into step with their old lives with ease.

Blaine squeezed Kurt’s hand. “Me too,” Blaine said quietly. “I want my life to always be like this.”

Kurt smiled peacefully. “It can be, once all this Sebastian stuff is over.”

Blaine frowned, not enjoying the direction that the conversation was going. 

“Blaine,” Kurt warned. “This isn’t just going to blow over. You’re going to have to fight for full custody, and that’s a battle that takes a lot of work. You can’t just run from it.”

“I know,” Blaine mumbled bitterly. “Can we talk about this later though? I want to enjoy our perfect day.”

“Okay,” Kurt agreed in a soft voice.

They made it to the park, and there were dogs, children and nannies galore. Mikey stumbled to the sandbox to play with a little girl with cute pigtails, and Kurt and Blaine sat on a bench to watch.

Blaine still seemed stiff and uncomfortable since Sebastian was brought up, and it worried Kurt. His curiously and anxiety was gnawing at his insides, pushing him to say something further so Blaine could talk about it, and they both would ultimately feel better after the fact.

“I know you don’t want to talk about this,” Kurt began in a hushed voice. “But you’re going to have to tell me what Sebastian did to you. This is a good time.”

Blaine sighed, his eyes looking watery again. Kurt just wanted to make it all go away. He hated seeing Blaine so sad and defeated. Blaine took a deep breath, grounding himself, despite the revulsion creeping up in esophagus.

“Kurt,” he said barely above a whisper. “He used me. Sexually. Like he forced me to have sex with him, and he’d hit me if I refused. I-”

“ _WHAT_ ,” Kurt spat, horrified at the thought of Blaine being in such a situation. Blaine tried to hush him, but it was no use.

“I’m going to fucking _kill him_ , he doesn’t deserve to be alive!” Kurt roared, fire licking through his body. He clenched his fists, wishing Sebastian was there to be punished. However, Blaine successfully quieted him this time, desperate not to get unwanted attention. 

“I had to get Mikey out of there,” Blaine continued, his voice shaky. “I know that Sebastian loves him, but my child can’t be around that. It’s dangerous. And what if one day Mikey made Sebastian really mad and he.. and he-”

Blaine started to cry softly, and Kurt immediately wrapped his arms around him.

“That’s never going to happen, Sebastian’s going to get what he deserves, I promise you that, Blaine,” Kurt vowed with conviction.

“Thank you, Kurt,” Blaine's voice cracked. “You are the only thing that’s getting me through this.”

“I’ll always be here,” Kurt promised, starting to choke up a little. “I love you so much, Blaine. More than I’ve ever loved anybody. I’ll do anything for you.”

Blaine looked up at Kurt, his beautiful hazel eyes shining from recently shed tears. “I love you too, Kurt.”

They held each other on the bench for a while, until Blaine calmed down and relaxed into Kurt’s comforting embrace. Mikey was having a blast with the other children, glancing over his shoulder once in a while to make sure that Kurt and Blaine were watching him. Kurt would smile and wave, but he also couldn’t help but feel sick at the thought of Blaine being violated by that _fucking asshole_. Kurt wished he could do something, but he knew violence wouldn’t fix anything. He wished it would in a time like this, it would solve things pretty quickly instead of having to go through all this bullshit.

After a couple of hours, Mikey was spent, and Blaine carried him home and Kurt whistled softly, just for the hell of it. 

“So why does your son call me ‘Wood Nymph’?,” Kurt asked to lighten the mood that was still darkened by their previous conversation.

Blaine chuckled. “I told him about you, but in story format.”

“Oh,” Kurt smiled. He kind of enjoyed the idea of having a special little nickname that nobody else would give him. “That’s cute.”

“Yeah,” Mikey interjected delightedly. “He told me how beautiful you were and how much he missed you!”

Kurt kissed him on the cheek. “Well I’m here now.” Blaine’s heart filled with love at Kurt’s words, so thankful that he was forgiven so easily by someone who is as damaged as Kurt. Blaine was deeply touched and moved by Kurt’s bravery, empathy and perseverance.

As they strolled up to the house, there was a dark SUV with tinted windows parked outside next to the curb that neither Kurt or Blaine recognized. It was too soon for Kurt’s family to arrive, and Carole probably would have mentioned if they were having company.

Kurt opened the door and walked through the threshold to be greeted by Carole’s calling voice, which sounded extremely on edge. “Kurt? Is that you?”

“Yeah, what’s going on? Who’s car is outside?” Kurt questioned, walking into the living room, and was greeted by the sight of his stepmother sitting straight as a board in her chair, facing 3 figures on the couch. One was a man dressed in a nice suit and held a briefcase, and the other was a prissy looking woman with glasses on the edge of her pointed nose. Between them was Sebastian.

“What the _hell_ is he doing here,” Kurt snarled, charging forward, but Carole held him back. “Why did you even let him in?”

“Kurt Hummel, we meet again,” Sebastian said slyly. “This is my lawyer,” he gestured to the man. “And a representative from social services.” The woman stood up, walking toward Blaine, who was frozen in fear.

“Papa!” Mikey exclaimed, wriggling in Blaine’s arms to go to him, but Blaine held on tight.

“What’s going on here,” Kurt demanded. He glared at Carole, and she looked back at him, frightened. Her eyes were wide, panicked, and Kurt knew something was very, very wrong.

“Mr. Anderson, I’m going to ask to hand over the child,” the social service woman said sternly. 

“Why?” Blaine asked. His voice was quiet and broken, clinging tighter to his son. The woman looked like her patience was running thin.

The lawyer cleared his throat. “My client, Mr. Smythe is filing charges against you, Mr. Anderson. He wants full custody of Michael Ryan Anderson-Smythe.”

“He can’t do that!” Blaine protested, tears welling up in his eyes. His whole body was shaking. “I took Mikey away from _your client_ to keep him safe!”

“Well according to my client, you left town with Michael without telling anybody. Thank goodness Mr. Smythe here had an idea of where you were heading. As you know, that was a major violation of your custody agreement.”

“Sebastian’s an _abuser_ ,” Kurt practically screamed, the reality of what was happening dawning on him. “THERE SHOULD BE A RESTRAINING ORDER TO KEEP THIS PIECE OF SHIT AWAY FROM BLAINE AND HIS SON!”

“Mr. Hummel, we ask you to remain calm. Your stepmother was kind enough to show us hospitality, and we ask you to do the same,” the lawyer said in a monotone voice.

The woman managed to take Mikey out of Blaine’s arms, and handed him to Sebastian. Blaine grabbed his own head, starting to panic. “No, no this can’t be happening-”

Sebastian hugged his son, and stood up, looking down at Blaine with with disgust. “You should have known your actions have consequences, Blaine. You really fucked this up.”

“Please, don’t do this,” Blaine begged, tears streaming down his cheeks.

The woman and Sebastian walked out of the front door and out to the yard without another word. 

“You have a court date on 8th of next month, Mr. Anderson. If you have any chance of salvaging this situation and seeing your son again, I suggest you build and good case and find yourself a decent defense attorney.”

The lawyer smirked, like he doubted that would happen, and he strode out too, not even bothering with closing the door. 

Carole squeezed Kurt’s arm, who very well looked like he was murderous. “Kurt. Blaine, I’m so sorry, they just came in. There was nothing I could do-”

“NO!” Blaine yelled, his voice filled with agony, as he ran outside chasing the 3 retreating figures. “YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME, HE’S MY BABY! YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM AWAY!”

Sebastian gave Blaine one last, pitying glance before and getting into the SUV with Mikey and drove off down the road.

Blaine collapsed onto the lawn, a hopeless mess, sobbing his eyes out. He groveled and pleaded for them to come back, but they were long gone by now. Kurt went to him, holding him fiercely.

“This is so unfair,” Kurt said through gritted teeth, tears burning his eyes. “We’ll make this right, Blaine. I swear to you.”

Blaine just heaved with sorrow, mumbling incoherencies, and Kurt was truly frighted of how they were going to get out of this one.


	15. A Certain Stage

Kurt thought it was a tragic change of events when he had to hold Blaine all night while he cried and cried. 

This wasn’t right. This wasn’t the way things were supposed to go. Kurt was the damaged one, not Blaine. Kurt was the one who sobbed at night for long hours after a nightmare, needing fixing and help. Seeing Blaine so broken and lost fueled the hate in Kurt’s heart toward Sebastian and wished ill will upon him in the most awful of ways.

Blaine had saved Kurt from himself all those months ago, so Kurt owed him everything. He was going to do everything in his power to get Mikey back for Blaine, and won’t be satisfied until Sebastian gets what he deserves or is rotting inside a jail cell at the very least.

It was then Kurt knew what it was like for Blaine to hold him as he wept. Kurt felt utterly helpless because there was nothing he could do when he wanted to do so much. He never truly understood Blaine until now.

After an immeasurable amount of time, when Kurt wasn’t focusing on anything but comforting Blaine, his heaving sorrow had ceased. Blaine’s breathing slowed, but Kurt could tell he wasn’t falling asleep. How could he right? Kurt couldn’t even sleep with his mind buzzing with so much, and he wasn’t the one who suffered a terrible loss.

“Kurt?” Blaine finally whispered in a wrecked voice. It made Kurt’s heart ache.

“Yes,” Kurt breathed, kissing his hair and stroking his back.

“I’m really sorry that you have to deal with all this,” Blaine mumbled, still sniffling and sounding utterly exhausted and just so, so sad.

“Hey,” Kurt grabbed his cheeks and kissed him on the forehead. “Don’t apologize. If I were in your position and I didn’t have someone to hold me, I’m not sure what I would have done. I’m here for you baby, always.”

“I’m so thankful for you Kurt,” Blaine choked up, but his tears had run out. “I’m thankful for everything you’ve done for me. For your forgiveness. I owe you so much.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Kurt said soothingly, rubbing his arms. “You are my world, and you saved me from myself when I met you in that bar in New York. You stepping into my life was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I’m going to do anything in my power to make this better for you, and for Sebastian to pay.”

“You really mean that Kurt?” Blaine asked in a small voice.

“I mean it with every fiber of my being,” Kurt said with vindication. “We’re going to get Mikey back and move back to New York and be a family.”

Blaine’s mouth fell open slightly, and his eyes flooded afresh with tears again, but this time they were of pure joy.

“Oh my god, Kurt,” Blaine sobbed. “Don’t say something like that unless you mean it.”

Kurt looked him straight in the eye. “I do. This is what I want. A life with you.”

Blaine wailed and wrapped his arms tightly around Kurt, nuzzling into his shoulder. “That’s all I ever wanted,” he mumbled into Kurt’s shirt, where it was getting damp with happy tears. “Oh, _Kurt_ -”

“Shhh,” Kurt hushed, gliding his fingers through his loose, curly hair. “Stop crying, you’re going to make yourself sick.”

Blaine didn’t comply nor answer, just surged his lips up into Kurt’s and kissed him with all he had. The loss of Mikey was slipping away because Blaine had such utter faith and trust in Kurt. He knew they would find a way, as long as they did it together. Blaine tried to show this without words, but with his lips, and Kurt seemed to get the message.

Blaine rolled himself fully onto Kurt, pressing the bodies together as Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine’s neck. Their lips moved in synchronization as their tongues danced. It wasn’t long until they both started panting again, growing hard from the contact and the heat.

After several long minutes of passion, the making out was getting intense. Kurt and Blaine actually hadn’t had sex since before, and they were both getting desperate. Finn was asleep in the living room with Carole, the TV’s volume low, so they had to be quiet if they were going to do this.

They clawed at each other’s clothes, and Blaine was moaning brokenly into Kurt’s mouth as they rutted frantically against each other. Sweat was starting to bead on Blaine’s forehead when Kurt rolled them over, letting his teeth sink into the spot where Blaine’s neck met his shoulder.

“ _Kurt_ ,” he sighed, scratching his nails down Kurt’s back, trying to expose more of his flesh. “Kurt, I want you inside me so bad.. please,” Blane begged.

Then like his own personal buzz kill, Kurt’s mind had a brief flashback of the last person he was inside. Revulsion, pity and guilt slammed into him, and Kurt broke away from Blaine, scooting up on the bed, holding his legs to his chest.

“Kurt? What’s wrong? Did I do something?” Blaine still looked kind of dazed, but Kurt could tell he felt a little worried, dashed with rejected and hurt.

“Blaine, there’s something I haven’t told you,” Kurt confessed, his voice strained. He bit his knee and started to rock.

Blaine’s entire body flooded with concern. He crawled to Kurt, and took Kurt’s face into the palm of his hand. “What is it? You can tell me anything.”

“When we broke up, and I was feeling really down… well,” Kurt started to shake. He didn’t know how Blaine would take the news. Would Blaine be angry? Disgusted? Betrayed? Would Blaine leave him? All the air seemed to disappear out of his lungs at the thought. But something compelled him to tell the truth. That something called _love_.

“I slept with Karofsky.”

Blaine stared at him for what felt like a century. “Wait what?”

“I slept with Karofsky,” Kurt repeated in a small voice, his heart pounding against his rib cage. He felt like he was going to puke or burst into tears because he couldn’t read Blaine’s expression.

“When,” Blaine instantly demanded in a hard voice. 

Kurt gulped. “I told you, it was when you left me-”

Blaine looked panicked like he didn’t want to breach that subject or hear details. “No, no I mean was it in New York, here or what?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I just do,” Blaine murmured, looking directly at Kurt with hesitant eyes. “Otherwise I’ll drive myself insane always wondering and not knowing for sure.”

Kurt sighed, not wanting to go into detail, or he might feel even more sick. 

“In was in this room,” he admitted, still having a difficult time breathing.

Blaine looked around alarmed, then hopped off the bed like it was contaminated. 

“Why did you do such a thing, you told me-"

“I don’t know,” Kurt sighed, but Blaine continued as though he wasn't interrupted.

“It’s just that, after what he did to you in high school and everything,” he rambled. “I thought you didn’t find him attractive, and that he wasn’t your type. Was I mistaken? Was he better than me?”

Blaine started pacing and pulling at his hair, gnawing at his lip. Kurt grabbed his wrist and forced him to stop.

“No,” Kurt said meaningfully. “It meant nothing to me. It was just me feeling bad about myself and I wanted company. Karofsky really cares about me and was a bit desperate, so I just gave in. I regret it so much, though. Nobody could ever compare to you and what you mean to me, Blaine.”

Blaine looked back to him, his eyes brimming with tears. He sat back down next to Kurt on the bed and squeezed his hands. “I understand. I’m sorry I freaked out for a second.”

“It’s okay,” Kurt smiled slightly, stroking Blaine’s palms lightly with his fingertips. “I just needed to tell you because I couldn’t make love to you again without you knowing.”

Blaine looked touched and leaned in to kiss Kurt sweetly. “I really appreciate it, Kurt but now the mood is kind of ruined. I can’t stop thinking about you two doing it in this bed.”

Blaine frowned looking like he was going to hop up again. 

“We didn’t do it in the bed,” Kurt assured without even thinking. He instantly regretted saying that, because the flashbacks came back with a vivid force. Ugh.

Blaine looked taken aback. “What, then where..?”

Kurt scrunched his face up and glanced at the floor. Blaine immediately got the hint, and a flash of hurt crossed over his features.

“I’m sorry,” Kurt said again, wishing he could take it all back. Kurt was preparing for the worst, but Blaine was actually taking it pretty well.

Blaine softened at Kurt’s tone and grabbed his face and kissed him again. “Don’t worry about it, Kurt. But now it means that this bed is free game.”

Blaine sounded a little mischievous, and Kurt was unendingly grateful that the mood had lightened to what it was previously.

“That’s true,” Kurt agreed coyly, smiling into the kiss he placed on Blaine’s lips once more while pushing him onto his back and straddled him. Kurt made with Blaine’s belt and slid it the floor, running his hands under Blaine’s shirt and felt his heated skin shiver.

“I’ve missed you,” Kurt said suddenly, voice flowing with pure affection. “I thought I never was going to have this again, but here we are.”

Blaine caressed Kurt’s face, smiling so much he thought it was going to hurt. “I know exactly what you mean. Our last experiences were terrible, so let’s erase them.”

Kurt stiffened because he forgot that Sebastian had raped Blaine. A dark pulse of anger seeped through him as well as panic. “Oh, shit - we don’t have to do this. Tell me if you want me to stop, because I would never push you so far-”

Blaine put his finger on Kurt’s lip, effectively silencing him. “I want this.”

Kurt merely nodded, eyes full of caring as he pulled his loose t-shirt over his head and threw it to the floor. Blaine ran his hands slowly up his naked chest, and it was Kurt’s turn to shiver. Blaine sat up so Kurt could remove the likes of his, and then they were back to kissing heatedly, trying to pull their bodies closer because forever and everywhere wasn’t enough.

Kurt pulled back after a while, requiring oxygen, and breathed brokenly into Blaine’s mouth. Blaine continued staring at Kurt’s lips, while Kurt admired his dark curtain of eyelashes fanning over his cheeks, and the faint blush that colored his dark skin.

“So I wanted to return the favor of something,” Kurt whispered before kissing Blaine quickly on the corner of his mouth.

“Oh?” Blaine’s voice was dripping with arousal. His chest was sweaty and flushed. Kurt toyed with the sparse hair on his chest.

“Mmhm,” Kurt giggled like a virgin. “Lean back.”

Blaine obliged, licking down Blaine’s chest before hooking his fingers into the waistband of Blaine’s jeans and underwear, sliding them all the way off. Kurt took a minute to appreciate the view that he once thought he could never have again. But now they had all the time in the world, and Kurt didn’t want to waste a second.

Kurt immediately spread Blaine’s thighs apart, and decided to skip all the teasing. With his large, flat tongue he traced the contours of Blaine’s fully hard cock before teasing his balls for a bit, until he swirled around Blaine’s puckered hole.

“I approve of this,” Blaine’s breath hitched and then he moaned, fisting Kurt’s hair. While stroking Blaine’s thighs, making the hairs stand on end, Kurt tongued his entrance enough times to be able to slip it in and then hummed because Blaine tasted so clean and delicious.

Kurt withdrew after a moment just to mutter one word, ' _suck_ ,' before he pressed his index and middle finger on Blaine’s perfectly plump lips. Blaine did as he was told, slathering Kurt’s fingers with a decent amount of saliva, humming in anticipation for what was to come.

Kurt pulled his fingers out of Blaine’s mouth, and then used his thumbs to pull his cheeks wider apart and went to town lapping in and against Blaine’s hole. Blaine positively shrieked in pleasure, and it only got better when Kurt pressed his wet fingers inside him, crooking them, massaging, rubbing, hoping to find his prostate the deeper he went-

“Oh _god_ Kurt,” Blaine thrashed his head about in the pillows. “Fuck me now, before I come, oh fuck!”

"Shhhh," Kurt hushed.

Once Kurt was satisfied in making Blaine writhe in the sheets, he kneeled in between Blaine’s legs, pulling his pants down to his knees and slid his cock down Blaine’s crack and circled his hole. Blaine shuddered at the contact, thrusting upward and gripped Kurt’s hips. Kurt then circled his cock in the fist of his left hand and pumped Blaine leisurely. 

“Please,” Blaine begged, moaning softly now. Kurt watched as a bead of sweat dripped deliciously down his throat.

“But, I need lube,” Kurt protested after his moment of distraction, his concern for Blaine’s comfort being the utmost of importance.

“Here, let me help you,” Blaine sat up, craning his neck down, his mouth open and sunk down on Kurt’s cock, slathering him heartily with more saliva. Kurt moaned because his cock was finally being touched, and Blaine’s mouth was just so sinfully good.

Blaine pulled off after a few loose bobs, wiping his bottom lip. “God, Kurt. I love you in my mouth. The desire to suck you off is only infinitesimally a fraction less than my desire for you to make love to me.”

Kurt grinned, pulling his pants and underwear all the way off, causing the bed to creak. “That’s because you were born to take cock, Blaine.”

Blaine fell onto his back again, sighing. “You don’t need to tell me twice.” He spread his thighs further apart, presenting himself gloriously for Kurt. Kurt was sure that no matter how many times they would get intimate, seeing Blaine spread out like this would never fail to get him going.

Kurt settled in between Blaine’s thighs, teasing Blaine’s entrance with the tip of his cock again, groaning deep in his throat before sliding in slowly. Blaine’s back arched and he grabbed Kurt’s hips again, his thighs clenching around Kurt’s waist. Blaine's eyebrows were tight and his mouth slack.

Kurt circled his hips a few times, letting Blaine adjust and also make sure he was stretched thoroughly enough. However, Blaine seemed frustrated that Kurt was taking this so slow, trying to impale himself down all the way.

Kurt laughed silently, stroking Blaine’s clenching abs, and then grabbed his muscled shoulders, leaning forward and shoving himself all the way in, causing them both to moan pleasurably.

Kurt pulled out almost all the way, and snapped his hips forward again, quickly picking up a steady pace. Kurt relished in the overwhelming sensation of this feeling so right. The sound of their skin slapping together and their names flowing around the room was perfection. Kurt finally felt whole again and he couldn’t be happier. Tears collected at the corner of his eyes as he attempted to kiss Blaine, who was panting raggedly.

They fucked for a long time, Kurt wasn't sure how long but he ignored the sound of the bed hitting the wall, the sad sounds of the springs; the sheets falling to the floor. They were consummating their love after all the pain, and it healed everything like a thin little scar, promising that it would all go away very soon.

“I’m close,” Blaine grunted after a while, sliding his tongue along Kurt’s bottom lip and then squeezing Kurt’s ass with brutal force.

Kurt sped up as the heat coiled in the base of his spine, his balls tightening and his thrusts got even more erratic. Kurt wrapped his hand around Blaine and pumped him hot and fast, wanting Blaine to get off first since it was Kurt’s favorite thing to see was Blaine fall apart.

As if one cue, Blaine’s whole body clenched, throwing his head back and the muscles in his neck popped out as he shuddered through orgasm. With each convulsion, Blaine’s mouth fell open even wider, and that’s what did Kurt in the end.

Kurt pulled out once he had enough strength to, and before his tingling fatigue overtook him completely, he courteously lapped up his own come dripping out of Blaine’s hole, causing Blaine to flail from the overwhelming sensation.

“God, that was fucking amazing,” Blaine sighed, pulling Kurt up so they could snuggle. Blaine rubbed his toe up Kurt’s calf, and it was oddly soothing before sucking Kurt’s tongue into his mouth to taste himself. Kurt groaned as his cock twitched in interest so soon after coming.

“I love you,” Kurt replied, butterflies assaulting his stomach. He had almost forgotten they had reached that stage, and he wanted to say it a million times over.

Blaine was overcome with joy, never wanting this to end. “I love you too, Kurt.”

They soon drifted off, not really caring that they probably were going to have to get up soon to attempt to get everything in order again. 

Even as content as Kurt felt, he couldn’t help but worry at the devastating possibility that they might lose Mikey forever.


	16. Trials and Tribulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> note: this might not be entirely accurate in terms of realism, but I hope you enjoy it all the same

Blaine slept restlessly, Kurt could tell. The post-orgasmic haze only lasted for an hour or so before Blaine started tossing and turning all night. Kurt couldn’t blame him, but he needed his rest if he was going to figure this all out. So he anchored Blaine in his arms, kissed his hair and told him everything was going to be okay over and over again. Blaine would just swallow and nod, letting tears leak down his face and onto the bed until he slipped under.

Kurt woke up really early so he could get started as soon as possible, jogging down the stairs to discuss with Carole of how they should go about getting a lawyer and setting up a case. 

Blaine stayed in bed, staring at the wall. He couldn’t bring himself to join Kurt in talking about Mikey and court conduct like it was a business transaction. He just couldn’t. Mikey wasn’t property to be fought over in a courtroom. He was his blessed, beautiful baby boy that Blaine would absolutely die if got taken away by fucking Sebastian. So Blaine wallowed in sadness the entire day, not even moving from his spot, he was sure he made an indent in the mattress.

There were papers and scribbles and pencils and phone books scattered all across the kitchen table, but no such luck. No clear answers. Kurt was so frustrated he dug the heel of his palm into his eyeball, groaning in displeasure and trying his best not to panic. He couldn’t give up hope now. He couldn’t let Blaine down. Finn was already fed up, he had to go lift weights in his room for a while, too stressed out to deal.

“It’s okay honey-” Carole began but Kurt exploded.

“No it’s not okay!” Kurt screamed, pounding his fists against the table. “I don’t know how I’ll live with myself if we lose this thing! We can’t let Sebastian win.”

Carole’s arm hesitated over Kurt’s, attempting to comfort but she thought against it, at least for now. “Kurt freaking out isn’t going to help-”

“You don’t think I know that?!” Kurt snapped. “But we’ve got nothing, and Blaine’s upstairs worried sick and completely broken! It will be all my fault if he doesn’t get reunited with Mikey and then.. and then, he’ll hate me!”

Kurt started breaking down into sobs, collapsing against the table, but Carole wrapped him up in her arms, shushing him and stroking his hair.

“Kurt,” she whispered soothingly. “Blaine would never hate you. I’ve never seen a boy more in love, and the judge will see that if anything. Even if Sebastian is conniving and witty, there is no way that he’ll take full custody of the child.”

“How can you be so optimistic,” Kurt mumbled miserably, sniffing into her t-shirt and holding her tightly like a lifeline. “You saw him yesterday.” _It was the most horrible thing I’ve never seen in my life._

“I did,” she acknowledged solemnly. “But sometimes things have a way of working themselves out.”

Kurt pulled away from Carole and squinted at her like he could barely recognize her, a fresh wave of indignation and hopelessness washing over him. “How could you say that?”

“What do you mean-” Carol was cut off once again, a chill tingling in her spine at the sight of Kurt’s burning grey eyes.

“How could you say things work out when every time something good happens, something even worse happens in turn!” Kurt grits his teeth as angry hot tears burned afresh in his eyes. “Life is so fucking unfair to say the least!”

“It is,” Carole agreed in a quiet voice, folding her hands onto the table as a gesture to remain calm. “But we have to deal with what we’ve got.”

Kurt stood up from the table, the chair skidding away from him loudly. “That’s fucking bullshit! You fall in love with a man, and he dies. And again. You were widowed twice and both your sons lost a father! How could you possibly think that symbolizes things working out? Please correct me if I’m delusional.”

“Kurt,” Carole said quietly, blinking away modest tears. “I know things have always been tough-”

“That’s an understatement,” Kurt interjects once again.

Carole purses her lips. “Quit interrupting me young man and listen to your step mother for just one second. Sit down.”

Carole’s sudden whiplash tone makes Kurt flinch because it was so unexpected. He had never in his life heard Carole talk that way, and he never wanted to hear it again, so he did as told.

Once he took his seat gingerly, Carole took both his hands and wrapped them warmly in hers. “Kurt, I know you might not believe me when I say I believe in happy endings.”

Kurt didn’t say anything, just waited for her to continue, his throat tight and painful.

“Despite whatever happens in life, good always comes from it,” she insists in a reverent tone. “I really believe that Blaine is your soulmate, and if your father hadn’t died, yes maybe you would’ve been less closed off, but I don’t think you would have ever fallen for Blaine in the right way.”

“I don’t understand,” Kurt mutters quietly, holding her gaze steadily.

“What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger,” Carole said in a decisive tone. “When struck with tragedy at such a young age you learned much faster and are quicker on your feet. I know that sounds bad, but there’s nothing we could’ve done about it. I don’t wish any sort of ill fate upon anybody, especially you, but Kurt, despite the fact that I only got to spend a short amount of time with the man I love, I did gain a wonderful new son in the process, and I wouldn’t have changed that for the world.”

Kurt bites his tongue, emotion overtaking him as even more tears flood his eyes, trying not to make a sound, but he squeezes her hand back to show how much this means to him. “So are you saying things happen for a reason.”

“Not necessarily,” Carole corrects, looking thoughtful. “This is just our only chance at life. We need to make the most of it, even if we’re given a load of crap it’s better than nothing, and we should never take that for granted. You can’t waste your life away Kurt because you’d regret it once you were old.” 

Carole pauses, taking a deep shuddering breath before, “I wake up every day thankful I’m alive and well and have people in my life that I love and that love me back. It’s that simple.”

And just like that, Kurt wasn’t sure how but the floodgates flew open and suddenly he could _see_.

Possibilities seemed endless. Anything seemed possible. Kurt’s revelation was so intense that the air disappeared from his lungs and his mouth fell open in a choked off gasp, unable to contain the mountain-load of emotions slamming into him.

What has he been doing all his life? Sure, he’s always chased his dreams with determination, but he always let little things get in the way. His irrational fear of love and ridicule. Karofsky was just a bully, and Kurt was better than him. Why was he always running? He was better than all of that, and he owed himself the best life he could acquire in his short time on this earth.

“Thank you Carole,” Kurt finally breathes, pulling her into a tight hug and he hears her cry quietly of happiness. He clings to her more desperately, wanting to prolong the moment and display his gratitude as best he could. 

She saw the change in Kurt’s eyes. This was the moment she was waiting for, and it had finally come. She could have sang on the rooftop telling the whole world if she wanted because she was so blissfully happy. Her stepson finally understood everything.

“I love you Kurt,” she whispers as he pulls away, her thumb dragging softly over his cheekbone. “I’ll always be here for you no matter what okay?”

Kurt reaches out to squeeze her arm about to return the loving words when a lightbulb pops into his brain. _Of course_.

“Carole,” Kurt prompts excitedly. “Do you remember Quinn Fabray?”

“Oh of course,” she exclaims, eyes hazing over slightly in her brief memory of the blond-haired troubled youth. “Why do you ask dear, seems a little off the point-”

“She’s a lawyer now isn’t she,” Kurt bursts with excitement, eyes shining with possibility.

Yes she definitely understood now.

\---

Kurt joined Blaine again many hours later, but once he noticed Blaine was asleep in the fetal position, Kurt tiptoed, curling himself around Blaine as quietly and carefully as possible. Kurt knew he could sleep soundly tonight knowing that finally things were on track, and the possibility of actually winning was on the horizon. Blaine would have his son back soon enough. Kurt hoped and prayed for that more than anything else in his life.

However, once Kurt settled and sighed deeply through his nose, Blaine stirred, croaking, “Kurt?”

“Hi baby,” Kurt whispered, kissing his ear. “Go back to sleep.”

Blaine hummed. “I’m glad you came back to me.”

“I was worried about you,” Kurt murmured, stroking Blaine’s back and kneading slightly.

“I’m worried about Mikey,” Blaine admits in a clipped tone, his bottom lip twitching. “What if I’ll never see him again, Kurt? Sebastian wouldn’t even answer his phone earlier to let me talk to my son. I called like 18 times.”

Kurt picked up on Blaine’s wavering tone so he hugged him tighter, wrapping his arms securely around Blaine’s waist and hooking his chin over Blaine’s shoulder. “That’s not going to happen. Carole and I were busy today.”

“Yeah?” Blaine asked in a quiet voice, sounding slightly hopeful at what Kurt was implying.

“Mmhmm,” Kurt replies. “We got a lawyer and everything. I promise everything will be okay. We have a plan.”

“But the trial is in three weeks-”

“It’s plenty of time,” Kurt insists. “I promise you, Blaine. Just hang tight for me. Hang tight for him.”

\---

As Sebastian’s lawyer sat down with a smug look on his face, complete with his statement, Blaine knew it was over.

Blaine slumped in his chair as the jury mumbled amongst themselves, looking accusingly at Blaine, for only moments ago he was accused of kidnapping and perjury. He didn’t want to be stared at anymore. He didn’t want people to see he was the broken man who was, it was only a matter of time, going to break down in heartbroken sobs in front of them. Not even Kurt’s soft nudges from behind him and strokes of comfort helped. Nothing would once he lost his son.

Blaine felt a tingle in his spine like he was being glared at, so he peeked through his fingers covering his face in defeat. It was Sebastian. Of course. The fucking asshole had the nerve. After he had tortured emotionally and physically abused Blaine, he still had to nerve to look proud of himself. Proud to take Blaine’s sanity and child away from him forever. 

“Your honor,” a disgruntled, out-of-breath voice rang through the courtroom suddenly as the heavy oak door slammed open, revealing a short bespectacled redhead boy no older than 17 brandishing a single piece of paper above his head. “I have new evidence for the defendant’s case!”

“Objection!” Sebastian’s seedy lawyer snipped, but the judge put a hand up. 

“Granted,” the old judge allowed, as the flushed faced boy handed the paper quickly to Quinn and sat down next to Kurt, giving Blaine the thumbs up. Blaine quirked an eyebrow at him before Quinn prodded his shoulder, whispering his name urgently.

“Look,” she murmured. “Sebastian’s psych evaluation.”

A small beacon of hope rose in Blaine’s chest. “So.. what’s it say?”

Quinn couldn’t help but the huge smile break across her face. She really thought she was going to lose this one and let Kurt and Blaine down. But this was good. This meant compromise. 

“He’s bipolar.”

“Shocker,” Kurt grumbled from behind Blaine, who had leaned forward with interest. “How will it help?”

“He’s not in right mind and needs medication,” Quinn blurt out in a hurried, hushed tone. “It means he’s not fit for parenting.”

“R-really,” Blaine nearly choked hardly believing his ears. “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” Quinn nodded frantically looking like she was about to break out into triumphant song. “You passed with flying colors of course. Blaine, this is good! Wonderful even!”

“Care to share with the rest of us,” the judge asked tiredly, rubbing the bridge of his nose under his lifted glasses. He was so sick of these domestic despite/custody cases. Why couldn’t young couples just get along?

Quinn strode confidently up to the judge to let him evaluate the sheet. He nodded once, handing the results back to her as she faced the courtroom with confidence. 

She stared down Sebastian’s lawyer, handing him the paper so he could see for himself. “It appears your client cannot have full custody of the child for he isn’t in a stable mental condition for parenting.”

“What?!” his lawyer snapped, his thin hair looking like it was about to curl, clutching the paper until it crumpled. Sebastian turned white while the judge leaned forward interestedly along with the jury.

“According to the state of Ohio psychiatric, Sebastian Smythe is clinically bipolar and needs treatment by means of medication and monitoring,” Quinn informed in a professional, resounding voice that echoed purposefully around the room.

The whole courtroom burst into excited gossip-filled whispers but the judge commanded, “Order!” by slamming his gavel against the podium. “Jury, what say you?”

The members of the jury glanced at each other, to a puppy-eyed Blaine before a woman in her mid-to-late 40’s stood up and droned, “We find the defendant not guilty, and should be cleared of all charges.”

Blaine pressed his hand to his mouth, trying to contain his overwhelming joy, but it wasn’t official yet. He needed to hear it again before it could be registered as real in his mind. It was just too good to be true, right?

The judge cleared his throat importantly. “The defendant, Blaine Anderson is cleared of all charges. Until further notice, the defendant has full custody of the child, Michael Ryan Anderson-Smythe. Once Mr. Sebastian Smythe is deemed fit and of sane mind by the state of Ohio, by the discretion of the defendant and a medical or legal professional, scheduled visits with the child will or can be made. For now, court is adjourned.”

The courtroom burst with noise with shuffling bodies, shouts of exclamation or rage before the judge disappeared behind a back door. Blaine sat there staring, barely even registering the claps of congratulations on his shoulder from his loved ones and supporters. 

He couldn’t believe it. It was over. He was going to have his son back. They were both safe. And now he had Kurt. They could all finally be together. _Finally_.

Kurt. Kurt’s beautiful face crowded his vision as he was swept up into a loving embrace, tears leaking out of Kurt’s gorgeous eyes as he pulled back and kissed Blaine all over his face. “I’m so proud of you. We did it.”

“I love you so much Kurt,” Blaine sobbed, cupping Kurt’s face and kissing him again desperately. 

“Thank you so much.” Blaine turned to Quinn, who hugged them both briefly. “ _Thank you_.”

“You’re welcome,” she says genuinely, packing up her things. “Until next time.”

Blaine glanced over Kurt’s shoulder and saw the bailiff pull open the back door behind the stand. The social worker woman that Blaine recognized as being the one who took his son away from him those many weeks ago shuffled through, her hand clasped with a much shorter figure with bright blue eyes and shining gold hair. _Mikey_.

“Daddy!” he exclaims once his eyes fall upon Blaine, pulling his hand from the social worker and started running toward him. Blaine falls to his knees and opens his arms to catch his son, and starts to openly weep once he was finally in the circle of his arms.

“Oh, Mikey, my son,” Blaine wails, kissing his son’s hair and holding him like he was never going to let go, because he pretty sure he wasn’t going to.

Kurt watched the two with amazement, tears spilling over his cheeks and heart swelling more than he ever thought possible. This was the most beautiful reunion he had ever seen in his life, and Mikey, despite his young age glanced at Kurt knowingly, like he knew that Kurt was the one that made this possible. He made everything possible for his Daddy. For him. For Kurt himself, even.

Things were right as they should be.


	17. Three Years Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> note: this is it! thanks for reading :)

"Bye Papa!" Mikey called to Sebastian, waving enthusiastically as he took both Kurt and Blaine's hands as per usual. "Bye Davey! See you later!"

Karofsky smiled down affectionately at the child, squeezing Sebastian's shoulder for comfort, who was looking a little downcast but smiled all the same.

"See you later big guy," Sebastian waved back, big bags evident under his eyes as a few lone tears slipped out. He wasn't going to be able to take his son for his big first day. But he knew it was for the best.

"Babe, you look a little tired," Karofsky acknowledged with concern, cupping Sebastian's face and kicking the door shut behind him. The last thing that Kurt and Blaine heard was, "Let's get you your meds and curl up and watch TV, okay?"

"Dave seems good for him," Blaine commented, smiling over at Kurt as they walked slowly together with Mikey jaunting inbetween them. "Seb appears a lot more grounded. I just didn't expect them to move to New York after all this time."

"He wants to see his son more often, it's completely understandable," Kurt reasoned, returning Blaine's grin with a contented smile. "And Mikey's warmed up to Karofsky, haven't you Mikey?"

Mikey ignored him, enthralled with his surroundings, still not quite used to the tall buildings of New York and the wonder they held for his young mind. "Where is my new school?"

Kurt chuckled squeezing Mikey's little hand. "Just a few more blocks. Are you ready?"

"Of course I am," Mikey scoffed like it was no big deal starting kindergarten for the first time. "I'm going to tell them all about my daddies and show them my rock collection."

"Sounds great bud," Blaine said genially. "Do you want us to come in with you?"

Mikey's eyes widened with horror as if the possibility of needing an escort by his parents was the most mortifying thing in the world. _Ugh how embarrassing.._ he thought. 

"No, just be here to pick me up," Mikey decided with a little nod of his precious blonde head.

They walked in comfortable silence, Kurt humming a familiar tune and Blaine just couldn't stop smiling and fidgeting. He was just so happy for what was to come, but also anxious. Time sure does fly.

"Here we are," Kurt announced, getting down on his knees and adjusting Mikey's backpack upon his small shoulders. "You tell us if any of the kids give you trouble, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," Mikey rolled his eyes as Kurt choked up, pulling him in for a tight hug. Blaine leaned down, patting his son's shoulder who was giving him the look _Wood Nymph is getting all emotional again Daddy!_ Blaine laughed loudly when Kurt withdrew, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Shut up," Kurt scolded weakly. "This is his first day of school. It's a big deal."

"I know," Blaine said warmly, holding Kurt tightly to his side as Mikey bid them farewell, crossing the sidewalk with a large group of children. Blaine knew Mikey would be alright, he was a good kid.

They both stood there for a while until Mikey's blonde head had disappeared out of sight, waving once more and sniffling back a few tears. 

"He's so big now," Kurt sobbed quietly, lacing his fingers with Blaine's as they started to head back to the apartment.

"Hey," Blaine said suddenly, voice filled with promise. "Mind if we make a detour."

"Sure," Kurt shrugged. "It is a really beautiful day."

After walking briskly for a few blocks, Blaine slowed down as they approached the familiar bar. Kurt gave him a quizzical look.

"It's a little bit early to drink Blaine," Kurt pointed out with a small upturn of his lips. "Are you really that stressed out?"

"It's the bar where we first met," Blaine mused, his heart hammering out of his chest and prayed that Kurt really didn't notice he was actually dying of nerves.

"I know it is," Kurt said flippantly. "But why are we here when we could be making love with the little time we have alone these days, at home."

Blaine's dick twitched in his pants, but he pressed on. "I just wanted to show you something."

"Okay," Kurt huffed out irritably before striding into the bar. He stopped abruptly just inside the spinning doorway once he realized that the decor of the bar looked completely foreign.

There were roses and candles everywhere. There were delicacies and pastries and a handsome looking man at the ready to make any sort of drink. "Blaine what is all this-"

Kurt gasped, his words dying in his throat as he saw Blaine lower to one knee looking completely nervous, his eyes wide and shining with anticipation.

_Oh my god_.

"Kurt," Blaine began his voice shaky as his hand disappeared into his coat pocket revealing a small black box. "You are my whole world. My soulmate. My partner. You, me and Mikey are family. You complete us, but there's just one little thing missing."

Blaine lifted the lid to reveal a shining silver band with a small inscription that Kurt could only make out a small word, 'forever' but it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Blaine continued, "I can't live another day without knowing you are going to be my husband."

Kurt started to cry, his heart fluttering as he bounced on the balls of his feet smiling down at Blaine until his face hurt. He couldn't believe this was happening now. It was sooner than he expected, but he was so, so ready.

"You don't need to say a speech Blaine," Kurt interrupted, his voice breathless. "I already know."

Blaine laughed nervously, clearing his throat. "A-alright. Kurt, will you marry me?"

Kurt squealed hoping desperately it wasn't a dream, but he was certain. Blaine's honey eyes kept him there, knowing that this was the most real moment of his life. He finally choked out, realizing that he'd been holding his breath for quite a while, "Yes, Blaine of course I will marry you!"

Tears leaked out of Blaine's eyes as a huge smile stretched across his face. With shaking hands, he looked like the happiest man in the world as he slipped the ring on Kurt, knowing full well that 3 years ago it was nothing like this. But what mattered most was that they got here. Finally.

Kurt pulled Blaine into his arms, kissing him passionately as the ring glinted off his left ring finger, a symbol that he was forever Blaine's.


End file.
